i am not muslim, but i have been thinking about converting, i want to find the peace. i just left my husband, who for many years was abusive to me and i stayed because i wanted a family together. i have abeautiful daughter and i feel a little alone, a little vulnerable, a little lost. i have been reading quran and looking in this site when i feel alone. i want to give my daughter a good life and i think islam will make me a better woman and mother. i hope to one day if i do convert to marry a practicing muslim man who is kind and loves me and my daughter. this may all sound silly but tonight it is 4 am and i am down. tomorrow i am going to the mosque to learn more and to surround myself with faithful people.
0
thinking about taking the step
Started by
Guest_moey_*
, Feb 06 2004 09:35 AM
13 replies to this topic
#2
Posted 06 February 2004 - 10:01 AM
I hope that you and your daughter are in the best of health. Nothing you are saying is silly. Everybody goes through times of feeling down it is very normal. Its a great idea for you to go to the mosque. You should do that as soon as you can. It will help you to be around faithful people. You will learn a lot in islam and maybe it will help you get over these bad feelings you are having. Try reading some Quraan and go to sleep. I don't now you personaly but i so hope you feel better soon.
Chubz
Chubz
#3
Posted 06 February 2004 - 10:32 AM
Assallamu Alaikum sister,
Welcome sister Inshallah we can all help you through this hard time. Where abouts are you? When you go to the mosque, write and tell us your experience.
Inshallah everything will work out for you and your little daughter, please rest and take care sister.
Allahfiz
Welcome sister Inshallah we can all help you through this hard time. Where abouts are you? When you go to the mosque, write and tell us your experience.
Inshallah everything will work out for you and your little daughter, please rest and take care sister.
Allahfiz
#4 Guest_moey_*
Posted 06 February 2004 - 11:00 AM
my first husband was not muslim. he is hispanic, like me and we live in monreal. sometimes yes i do think of returning to him, because i dont know what is best for my daughter, but for some reason i do feel this call to islam.
i have been reading islam sisters all night and some of the things scare me a little. i read a few things that many muslim men do not like to marry divorced woman with children. i think i would like to marry a convert one day, inshaallah.
can you believe it is 540 am.
thankyou for the two ladies who wrote me back, it makes me feel like i have someone to talk to.
i meet a man muslim maybe 3 weeks ago. i meet him in the metro and he was talking to me. he tell me he prays 5 times a day and i tell him that is beautiful. but then he asked me out on a date and i told him that that is not islamic. he is very suprised!!
my daughter is very beautiful and my gift from God. she is now 2 years old and smiles and laughts at everything.
how i first found out about islam was from a wonderful woman from egypt. she had many problems in her life, problems that i dont think i could handle, and she had a light about her and she invited me many times to her apartmant. she had a baby and was married too. well she used to pray in front of me. i thought it was beautiful. she wore hijab too, but when i visit her she takes it off. at this time i was not married and even then i was interested in islam. i went to tell my family but they are so angry. then i meet a man who is not muslim, we marry each other. he drinks, goes out until 300 am, he yells at me alot and hits me sometimes. sometimes when i was married i went to the mosque, but i keep it a secret from him. i even wore hijab to see how it feels and it felt beautiful to me. sometimes i say to myself, if i would have become muslim before i would have not married this man, but i cannot say this be ause i have a beautiful daughter.
now i live far from my family, i live in montreal and here there are alot of muslims, and alot of man too from tunisia morocco and algeria who look like spanish. but my dream is to becaome muslim and to inshaallah marry this really sweet and kind moslem man who would never hit a woman and have even more children together. i think it must be so wonderful to share a faith with someone to pray together seems like the most amazing thing. well take care my new friends and i will tell you more about tomorrow. my ex husband bought a ticket for us to go to mexico for one week tomorrow with our daughter. yes it is a temptation, to get away from this snow and cold, but instead i will go to mosque
i have been reading islam sisters all night and some of the things scare me a little. i read a few things that many muslim men do not like to marry divorced woman with children. i think i would like to marry a convert one day, inshaallah.
can you believe it is 540 am.
thankyou for the two ladies who wrote me back, it makes me feel like i have someone to talk to.
i meet a man muslim maybe 3 weeks ago. i meet him in the metro and he was talking to me. he tell me he prays 5 times a day and i tell him that is beautiful. but then he asked me out on a date and i told him that that is not islamic. he is very suprised!!
my daughter is very beautiful and my gift from God. she is now 2 years old and smiles and laughts at everything.
how i first found out about islam was from a wonderful woman from egypt. she had many problems in her life, problems that i dont think i could handle, and she had a light about her and she invited me many times to her apartmant. she had a baby and was married too. well she used to pray in front of me. i thought it was beautiful. she wore hijab too, but when i visit her she takes it off. at this time i was not married and even then i was interested in islam. i went to tell my family but they are so angry. then i meet a man who is not muslim, we marry each other. he drinks, goes out until 300 am, he yells at me alot and hits me sometimes. sometimes when i was married i went to the mosque, but i keep it a secret from him. i even wore hijab to see how it feels and it felt beautiful to me. sometimes i say to myself, if i would have become muslim before i would have not married this man, but i cannot say this be ause i have a beautiful daughter.
now i live far from my family, i live in montreal and here there are alot of muslims, and alot of man too from tunisia morocco and algeria who look like spanish. but my dream is to becaome muslim and to inshaallah marry this really sweet and kind moslem man who would never hit a woman and have even more children together. i think it must be so wonderful to share a faith with someone to pray together seems like the most amazing thing. well take care my new friends and i will tell you more about tomorrow. my ex husband bought a ticket for us to go to mexico for one week tomorrow with our daughter. yes it is a temptation, to get away from this snow and cold, but instead i will go to mosque
#5
Site Admin
Posted 06 February 2004 - 11:18 AM
My dear moey,
I was in the middle of my answer when I accidentaly closed the window.
You are very courageous to have left your husband. I do not think it is better for your daughter to see her father mistreating her mother so keep in the path you have chosen.
Your story is amazing masha Allah. Many men will marry a woman with a child so do not worry, especially if that woman is a convert.
I am moving your post to the non-muslims forum if you do not mind. Do not hesitate to ask any questions that bothers you as I am sure somebody insha Allah will be able to answer you.
Umm hanifa
I was in the middle of my answer when I accidentaly closed the window.
You are very courageous to have left your husband. I do not think it is better for your daughter to see her father mistreating her mother so keep in the path you have chosen.
Your story is amazing masha Allah. Many men will marry a woman with a child so do not worry, especially if that woman is a convert.
I am moving your post to the non-muslims forum if you do not mind. Do not hesitate to ask any questions that bothers you as I am sure somebody insha Allah will be able to answer you.
Umm hanifa
#6
Posted 06 February 2004 - 12:00 PM
Dear Moey,
I am sure you would feel peace by becoming a Muslim. Since becoming a Muslim I've felt such a inner peace that I never felt previously. It's true that you may go through difficulties like anyone else, but as Muslims we know that we can always turn to Allah If you feel a strong urge to convert I wouldn't hesitate. Actually the first thing I learned to appreciate about Islam was its good values and morals and I knew that I one day wanted to raise my children as Muslims. So, I understand how you feel about becoming a better mother as a Muslim.
Btw, I am little bit confused about your situation :wink: you see I just read your message in French to sis Islam-Net in the Muslim Wives corner and there you said you already have converted and are married to a Tunisian :roll: :?:
I hope you'll feel better soon and that you'll be guided to the Straight Path (that is if you're not already a Muslim)
Love
Yamina
I am sure you would feel peace by becoming a Muslim. Since becoming a Muslim I've felt such a inner peace that I never felt previously. It's true that you may go through difficulties like anyone else, but as Muslims we know that we can always turn to Allah
If you feel a strong urge to convert I wouldn't hesitate. Actually the first thing I learned to appreciate about Islam was its good values and morals and I knew that I one day wanted to raise my children as Muslims. So, I understand how you feel about becoming a better mother as a Muslim.
Btw, I am little bit confused about your situation :wink: you see I just read your message in French to sis Islam-Net in the Muslim Wives corner and there you said you already have converted and are married to a Tunisian :roll: :?:
I hope you'll feel better soon and that you'll be guided to the Straight Path (that is if you're not already a Muslim)
Love
Yamina
#7
sarah_anisah
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Posted 06 February 2004 - 12:03 PM
Hello
Moey before I answer your question here I am a bit confused :? (that is nothing new for me
)
I am sure I just read in another post on the wives forum you are a convert married to a Tunisian... is my french sooo bad I did misunderstand? Or maybe it is my english that is bad :? :? :?
I am not sure what to advice you yet, but hope you will either become Muslim or become a stronger one!!!
Take care
Sarah
Moey before I answer your question here I am a bit confused :? (that is nothing new for me
)
I am sure I just read in another post on the wives forum you are a convert married to a Tunisian... is my french sooo bad I did misunderstand? Or maybe it is my english that is bad :? :? :?
I am not sure what to advice you yet, but hope you will either become Muslim or become a stronger one!!!
Take care
Sarah
#8
Posted 06 February 2004 - 06:26 PM
DONT GO TO MEXICOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :shock:
IT'S A TRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You may go to mexico and you may never come back. Sister, pleae don't go. If he abuses you, HE WILL HOLD YOU HOSTAGE, THEN HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET BACK, WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER, ISLAM??????
I PRAY TO ALLAH (SWT) THAT YOU HAVE NOT GONE YET
DON'T GO
I'm serious sis. Some men are like that, they realize that since they can't have you 1. no one is going to have you (he kills you) or 2. You will come back to him.
The relationship is over, so you shouldn't be mixing with him anyway. I'm not trying to scare you, but I have seen this happen. If you want to go to mexico, go when you can afford to go with you and your daughter on your own, without the xhusband.
I am truly sorry if I am scaring you, but you're scaring me by thinking about going.
:cry:
IT'S A TRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You may go to mexico and you may never come back. Sister, pleae don't go. If he abuses you, HE WILL HOLD YOU HOSTAGE, THEN HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET BACK, WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER, ISLAM??????
I PRAY TO ALLAH (SWT) THAT YOU HAVE NOT GONE YET
DON'T GO
I'm serious sis. Some men are like that, they realize that since they can't have you 1. no one is going to have you (he kills you) or 2. You will come back to him.
The relationship is over, so you shouldn't be mixing with him anyway. I'm not trying to scare you, but I have seen this happen. If you want to go to mexico, go when you can afford to go with you and your daughter on your own, without the xhusband.
I am truly sorry if I am scaring you, but you're scaring me by thinking about going.
:cry:
#9
Posted 06 February 2004 - 06:32 PM
Another thing I want to say is I am glad alhamdullillah that you are wanting to become muslim. Let me give you this advice when you start thinking you want your ex back 1. MISERY LOVES COMPANY-do you think he wants your level of understanding to elevate to muslimah. he wouldn't even know how to handle a muslimah. I am a firm believer that the only man who hits a woman, IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO CONTROL HER. 2. Birds of a feather flock together. When you hang around positive people, you yourself will become positive. When you hang around negative people, you will become negative. 3. Read as much as you can about islam as if you were muslim. Stay on these boards sis, I'm telling you islamway sisters is a life saver. And being a new muslim myself I have to refer back to it as well. 4. STAY FIRM-when he calls, only talk about business concerning your daughter, nothing else needs to be talked about. he is no good for you, (he's not muslim anyway) and as I said before, he doesn't know what to do with you thats why he hits you. 5. Do you want to be somebody's punching bag? nuff said.
I hope that soon you will be saying you have taken your shahada. I am looking forward to hearing that!!!!!
Stay positive.
Find the peace within yourself. if you don't have it, you will never find it. Dont think that because you say the shahada you will feel this aura of peace come over your body, you have to earn that peace through trials and tribulations and most of all sabr (patience) which is what I'm learning now as well...
Anyhoo, I pray that all is well for you!!!!
ASalaamu alaikum
Zakirah
I hope that soon you will be saying you have taken your shahada. I am looking forward to hearing that!!!!!
Stay positive.
Find the peace within yourself. if you don't have it, you will never find it. Dont think that because you say the shahada you will feel this aura of peace come over your body, you have to earn that peace through trials and tribulations and most of all sabr (patience) which is what I'm learning now as well...
Anyhoo, I pray that all is well for you!!!!
ASalaamu alaikum
Zakirah
#10
Posted 07 February 2004 - 04:36 AM
(In the name of Allah, the compassionate, most merciful)
Hi, I would like to first welcome you and any questions you may have or concerns, know that there are many knowledgable sisters here who are willing to help, god willing.
I want to let you know that when making the right desicions in life, shaytaan tries his best to turn you against the worship of God as we say in arabic Allah. This is normal and many of us if not all had this feeling before becoming muslim that is because shaytaan (saitan) doesn't want good for us. Every desicion you make, you should consider the benefits. Being lonely is something you can turn to Allah and ask Him to fill that void in your heart and don't hesitate upon becoming muslim. Allah takes care of those that believe in Him and follow His guidance. Put your trust in Allah for He created us and don't be scared, I have been muslim for 5 yrs now, all praise due to Allah, and I can't imagine any other way of life that could give me this sense of peace, understanding, have my priorities in order and have a husband who is practising muslim man and a daughter who's almost two insha'Allah. My family was angry too and they still are even though things are much better. When I became muslim, and after I got married my husband told me to keep ties with my family and my family loved him for that, for he phoned them too and asked them permission to marry me. There are amazing things withing islam that I never knew existed before, the prayer itself, the relationship with your husband, children, family and the simple things in life you see differently. You gain a deep understanding of matters, things, people and so on.
Once you become muslim, don't worry about getting remarried. There are alot of good brothers up for marriage who because of their strong practise, will treat you and your daughter in the best manner with compassion etc.. By the way I live in calgary, Alberta which is not too far. You can email me personally and I have many information here that I can send out to you for I work here with the islamic organization and we have many sets (packages) for non/new muslims. Also I would be interested to get to know you and talk to you in regards to concerns and questions that you may be having insha'Allah. You can email me at imansabrlove@hotmail.com or magda@adly.net insha'Allah.
Hi, I would like to first welcome you and any questions you may have or concerns, know that there are many knowledgable sisters here who are willing to help, god willing.
I want to let you know that when making the right desicions in life, shaytaan tries his best to turn you against the worship of God as we say in arabic Allah. This is normal and many of us if not all had this feeling before becoming muslim that is because shaytaan (saitan) doesn't want good for us. Every desicion you make, you should consider the benefits. Being lonely is something you can turn to Allah and ask Him to fill that void in your heart and don't hesitate upon becoming muslim. Allah takes care of those that believe in Him and follow His guidance. Put your trust in Allah for He created us and don't be scared, I have been muslim for 5 yrs now, all praise due to Allah, and I can't imagine any other way of life that could give me this sense of peace, understanding, have my priorities in order and have a husband who is practising muslim man and a daughter who's almost two insha'Allah. My family was angry too and they still are even though things are much better. When I became muslim, and after I got married my husband told me to keep ties with my family and my family loved him for that, for he phoned them too and asked them permission to marry me. There are amazing things withing islam that I never knew existed before, the prayer itself, the relationship with your husband, children, family and the simple things in life you see differently. You gain a deep understanding of matters, things, people and so on.
Once you become muslim, don't worry about getting remarried. There are alot of good brothers up for marriage who because of their strong practise, will treat you and your daughter in the best manner with compassion etc.. By the way I live in calgary, Alberta which is not too far. You can email me personally and I have many information here that I can send out to you for I work here with the islamic organization and we have many sets (packages) for non/new muslims. Also I would be interested to get to know you and talk to you in regards to concerns and questions that you may be having insha'Allah. You can email me at imansabrlove@hotmail.com or magda@adly.net insha'Allah.
#11
Posted 07 February 2004 - 02:49 PM
Hi and Salam Allaikom,
I a new to this site as well. I'm here to learn and finally get over my fears to revert , which will be soon, Isnshallah. I'm 34 and a mom of two wonderful kids, ages 7 and 9 . I have lived my life like a muslem , except for the prayers for some time now, I eat Halal, no alcohol, I do Ramadan, and also dress conservatively.
I saw the post from Moey, I think I saw that she is from Montreal. I work in Montreal at the Montreal Children's Hospital. but I live in the eastern townships about an hour and a half away from a masjid in Montreal, but very close to the Vermont , USA border. I have been looking for a sister to share about learnning about islam and for one to go to mosque with.
Would Moey be interested? if so.. contact me on msn messenger Karenlee_70@hotmail.com or Yahoo messnger Zahra_70ca.
Courage Moey hardships in life are just a test
Salam, Karen
I a new to this site as well. I'm here to learn and finally get over my fears to revert , which will be soon, Isnshallah. I'm 34 and a mom of two wonderful kids, ages 7 and 9 . I have lived my life like a muslem , except for the prayers for some time now, I eat Halal, no alcohol, I do Ramadan, and also dress conservatively.
I saw the post from Moey, I think I saw that she is from Montreal. I work in Montreal at the Montreal Children's Hospital. but I live in the eastern townships about an hour and a half away from a masjid in Montreal, but very close to the Vermont , USA border. I have been looking for a sister to share about learnning about islam and for one to go to mosque with.
Would Moey be interested? if so.. contact me on msn messenger Karenlee_70@hotmail.com or Yahoo messnger Zahra_70ca.
Courage Moey
hardships in life are just a test
Salam, Karen
#13
Sister Kamillah
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Posted 08 February 2004 - 01:13 AM
Peace,
Take one step at a time, If you do become Muslim then that will surely end the problems of trying to choose to stay or not to stay with the father of your child because he is not muslim so you would have to divorce him. Muslimah cannot be married to non-muslims.
Upon saying the Shahada, please look at the six pillars of Emaan and the five pillars of Islam, for this is what you must believe in to be a Muslim.
Insha-Allah I hope that you will become a Muslim.
kamillah
Take one step at a time, If you do become Muslim then that will surely end the problems of trying to choose to stay or not to stay with the father of your child because he is not muslim so you would have to divorce him. Muslimah cannot be married to non-muslims.
Upon saying the Shahada, please look at the six pillars of Emaan and the five pillars of Islam, for this is what you must believe in to be a Muslim.
Insha-Allah I hope that you will become a Muslim.
kamillah
#14
Posted 09 February 2004 - 05:56 AM
as-salaam aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
It is wonderful that you have been studying about Islam. I reverted about a year and a half ago and it has been so wonderful for me. I do hope that you do stay away from your ex and I agree that you absolutely should NOT go to Mexico!!! Do not fall for his sweet talk. Do not fall for his false apologies. It is only a continuous cycle that will get worse and worse. You will also send messages to your daughter that how your ex treats you is normal and ok. Most women tend to marry men who are like their fathers. Would you want your daughter to marry someone like her father? Now I know that it is not all women because I was abused by my father and I look for men the opposite of him... but my sister is continuing the cycle of abuse. I am very fortunate that I am able to see that I deserve someone who treats me better than my father treated my mother, sisters and I. You must stay strong and you can teach her that it is unacceptable to be abused.
You deserve the best also. Do keep updating us with what you are learning about Islam. Do post your questions... we all will help you find the answers the best we can.
Ameera
It is wonderful that you have been studying about Islam. I reverted about a year and a half ago and it has been so wonderful for me. I do hope that you do stay away from your ex and I agree that you absolutely should NOT go to Mexico!!! Do not fall for his sweet talk. Do not fall for his false apologies. It is only a continuous cycle that will get worse and worse. You will also send messages to your daughter that how your ex treats you is normal and ok. Most women tend to marry men who are like their fathers. Would you want your daughter to marry someone like her father? Now I know that it is not all women because I was abused by my father and I look for men the opposite of him... but my sister is continuing the cycle of abuse. I am very fortunate that I am able to see that I deserve someone who treats me better than my father treated my mother, sisters and I. You must stay strong and you can teach her that it is unacceptable to be abused.
You deserve the best also. Do keep updating us with what you are learning about Islam. Do post your questions... we all will help you find the answers the best we can.
Ameera
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