Asalam Alikom
If a father doesnt agree with his daughters marraige, and the man she seeks is a pious man, it is allowed for the daughter to go against her father and marry the man? Or must her father agree?
IF the following reasons for the father to disagree... are these: 1- he wants the daughter to get a university diploma 2- he doesnt want the man because the man is poor, but can support himself( having hisown house.... ) and enough to eat ( but cant buy extra things( the things we desire as humans)( fancy clothes for ex or fancy car or fancy furniture)) He wants his daughter to have everything whenever she wants it.. lets put it in that case
3- the mother of the father disagrees about the marrage, so the father disagrees also..(because of the mother)
And my second question is, can a girl marry a man with out permission( of course she asks permission at first, but the father refused) because if she doesnt marry him, she swears that she will not marry no other..
JAK
Salam Alikom..
0
Run away bride?
Started by
Guest
, Oct 16 2004 11:42 PM
2 replies to this topic
#2
Posted 17 October 2004 - 01:34 PM
Salam alikom
A women can not get married without a guardian.
Conditions of walee (guardian)
Question :
What exactly constitutes a guardian, as is needed in the nikkah ceremony. I am a female Muslim, and I want to know if my older brother is acceptable for this role.
Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.
There are three pillars or conditions for the marriage contract in Islam:
1.
Both parties should be free of any obstacles that might prevent the marriage from being valid, such as their being mahrams of one another (i.e., close relatives who are permanently forbidden to marry), whether this relationship is through blood ties or through breastfeeding (radaa’) etc., or where the man is a kaafir (non-Muslim) and the woman is a Muslim, and so on.
2.
There should be an offer or proposal (eejaab) from the walee or the person who is acting in his place, who should say to the groom “I marry so-and-so to you” or similar words.
3.
There should be an expression of acceptance (qabool) on the part of the groom or whoever is acting in his place, who should say, “I accept,” or similar words.
The conditions of a proper nikaah (marriage contract) are as follows:
1.
Both the bride and groom should be clearly identified, whether by stating their names or describing them, etc.
2.
Both the bride and groom should be pleased with one another, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No previously-married woman (widow or divorcee) may be married until she has been asked about her wishes (i.e., she should state clearly her wishes), and no virgin should be married until her permission has been asked (i.e., until she has agreed either in words or by remaining silent).” They asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given (because she will feel very shy)?” He said: “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4741)
3.
The one who does the contract on the woman’s behalf should be her walee, as Allaah addressed the walees with regard to marriage (interpretation of the meaning): “And marry those among you who are single…” [al-Noor 24:32] and because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who marries without the permission of her walee, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 1021 and others; it is a saheeh hadeeth)
4.
The marriage contract must be witnessed, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage contract except with a walee and two witnesses.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7558)
It is also important that the marriage be announced, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce marriages.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1027)
The conditions of the walee are as follows:
1.
He should be of sound mind
2.
He should be an adult
3.
He should be free (not a slave)
4.
He should be of the same religion as the bride. A kaafir cannot be the walee of a Muslim, male or female, and a Muslim cannot be the walee of a kaafir, male or female, but a kaafir can be the walee of a kaafir woman for marriage purposes, even if they are of different religions. An apostate (one who has left Islam) cannot be a walee for anybody.
5.
He should be of good character (‘adaalah – includes piety, attitude, conduct, etc.), as opposed to being corrupt. This is a condition laid down by some scholars, although some of them regard the outward appearance of good character as being sufficient, and some say that it is enough if he is judged as being able to pay proper attention to the interests of the woman for whom he is acting as walee in the matter of her marriage.
6.
He should be male, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman may conduct the marriage contract of another woman, and no woman can conduct the marriage contract on behalf of her own self, because the zaaniyah (fornicatress, adulteress) is the one who arranges things on her own behalf.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah, 1782; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7298)
7.
He should be wise and mature (rushd), which means being able to understand matters of compatibility and the interests of marriage.
The fuqahaa’ put possible walees in a certain order, and a walee who is more closely-related should not be ignored unless there is no such person or the relatives do not meet the specified conditions. A woman’s walee is her father, then whoever her father may have appointed before his death, then her paternal grandfather or great-grandfather, then her son, then her grandfathers sons or grandsons, then her brother through both parents (full brother), then her brother through her father, then the sons of her brother through both parents, then the sons of her brother through her father, then her uncle (her father’s brother through both parents), then her father’s brother through the father, then the sons of her father’s brother though both parents, then the sons of her father’s brother through the father, then whoever is more closely related, and so on – as is the case with inheritance. The Muslim leader (or his deputy, such as a qaadi or judge) is the walee for any woman who does not have a walee of her own.
And Allaah knows best.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
A women can not get married without a guardian.
Conditions of walee (guardian)
Question :
What exactly constitutes a guardian, as is needed in the nikkah ceremony. I am a female Muslim, and I want to know if my older brother is acceptable for this role.
Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.
There are three pillars or conditions for the marriage contract in Islam:
1.
Both parties should be free of any obstacles that might prevent the marriage from being valid, such as their being mahrams of one another (i.e., close relatives who are permanently forbidden to marry), whether this relationship is through blood ties or through breastfeeding (radaa’) etc., or where the man is a kaafir (non-Muslim) and the woman is a Muslim, and so on.
2.
There should be an offer or proposal (eejaab) from the walee or the person who is acting in his place, who should say to the groom “I marry so-and-so to you” or similar words.
3.
There should be an expression of acceptance (qabool) on the part of the groom or whoever is acting in his place, who should say, “I accept,” or similar words.
The conditions of a proper nikaah (marriage contract) are as follows:
1.
Both the bride and groom should be clearly identified, whether by stating their names or describing them, etc.
2.
Both the bride and groom should be pleased with one another, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No previously-married woman (widow or divorcee) may be married until she has been asked about her wishes (i.e., she should state clearly her wishes), and no virgin should be married until her permission has been asked (i.e., until she has agreed either in words or by remaining silent).” They asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given (because she will feel very shy)?” He said: “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4741)
3.
The one who does the contract on the woman’s behalf should be her walee, as Allaah addressed the walees with regard to marriage (interpretation of the meaning): “And marry those among you who are single…” [al-Noor 24:32] and because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who marries without the permission of her walee, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 1021 and others; it is a saheeh hadeeth)
4.
The marriage contract must be witnessed, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage contract except with a walee and two witnesses.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7558)
It is also important that the marriage be announced, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce marriages.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1027)
The conditions of the walee are as follows:
1.
He should be of sound mind
2.
He should be an adult
3.
He should be free (not a slave)
4.
He should be of the same religion as the bride. A kaafir cannot be the walee of a Muslim, male or female, and a Muslim cannot be the walee of a kaafir, male or female, but a kaafir can be the walee of a kaafir woman for marriage purposes, even if they are of different religions. An apostate (one who has left Islam) cannot be a walee for anybody.
5.
He should be of good character (‘adaalah – includes piety, attitude, conduct, etc.), as opposed to being corrupt. This is a condition laid down by some scholars, although some of them regard the outward appearance of good character as being sufficient, and some say that it is enough if he is judged as being able to pay proper attention to the interests of the woman for whom he is acting as walee in the matter of her marriage.
6.
He should be male, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman may conduct the marriage contract of another woman, and no woman can conduct the marriage contract on behalf of her own self, because the zaaniyah (fornicatress, adulteress) is the one who arranges things on her own behalf.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah, 1782; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7298)
7.
He should be wise and mature (rushd), which means being able to understand matters of compatibility and the interests of marriage.
The fuqahaa’ put possible walees in a certain order, and a walee who is more closely-related should not be ignored unless there is no such person or the relatives do not meet the specified conditions. A woman’s walee is her father, then whoever her father may have appointed before his death, then her paternal grandfather or great-grandfather, then her son, then her grandfathers sons or grandsons, then her brother through both parents (full brother), then her brother through her father, then the sons of her brother through both parents, then the sons of her brother through her father, then her uncle (her father’s brother through both parents), then her father’s brother through the father, then the sons of her father’s brother though both parents, then the sons of her father’s brother through the father, then whoever is more closely related, and so on – as is the case with inheritance. The Muslim leader (or his deputy, such as a qaadi or judge) is the walee for any woman who does not have a walee of her own.
And Allaah knows best.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)
#3
Posted 17 October 2004 - 01:38 PM
Salam alikom
What is the ruling on a father preventing his daughter from marrying who she wants?
Question :
Some fathers prevent their daughters from marrying someone who is compatible with them. What is the ruling on this? What is the daughters’ position?
Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.
This question was put to Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him), who said:
This is a serious issue and a major problem. Some men – we seek refuge with Allaah – betray Allaah and betray their trust, and cause problems for their daughters. The guardian is obliged to do that which pleases Allaah and His Messenger. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband)” – i.e., give your daughters in marriage – “and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid‑servants (female slaves).” [al-Noor 24:32]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then marry (your female relative under your guardianship) to him, for if you do not do so, there will be tribulation and great mischief on earth.”
Some people – we seek refuge with Allaah – make their daughter a commodity to be sold to whoever they want, and they prevent her from marrying whoever they do not want. So they marry their daughter to a man whose character and religious commitment are not pleasing, because that suits their whims, and they prevent her from marrying one whose character and religious commitment are pleasing, because that does not suit them.
Would that we could reach the level where a woman whose father prevents her from marrying one whose character and religious commitment are compatible could go to the qaadi and he would tell her father, “Marry her to him or I or a guardian other than you will do so,” because a girl has the right, if her father prevents her from marrying someone, (and she complains to the qaadi). This is a right given by sharee’ah. Would that we could reach this level, but most girls are prevented by their shyness from doing this.
Our advice to the father is still to fear Allaah and not to prevent her from marrying, because that may cause her to do something wrong and may lead to mischief. Let him ask himself, if he were prevented from marrying, what would happen to him?
His daughter whom he prevented from marrying will become his opponent on the Day of Resurrection:
“That Day shall a man flee from his brother,
And from his mother and his father,
And from his wife and his children.
Every man that Day will have enough to make him careless of others” [‘Abasa 80:34-37 – interpretation of the meaning]
Guardians, including fathers and brothers, must fear Allaah and not deny women their right to marry the one whose religious commitment and character is pleasing to them.
Yes, if a woman chooses someone whose religious commitment and character are not pleasing, then he (the father or guardian) may prevent her from marrying him. But if she chooses a righteous man whose religious commitment and character are good, then he prevents her from marrying because of his own whims and desires, this is haraam, by Allaah, and it is a sin and a betrayal. If any mischief results from this, the sin will be on him (the father).
Al-Liqa’ al-Shahri by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (www.islam-qa.com)
What is the ruling on a father preventing his daughter from marrying who she wants?
Question :
Some fathers prevent their daughters from marrying someone who is compatible with them. What is the ruling on this? What is the daughters’ position?
Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.
This question was put to Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him), who said:
This is a serious issue and a major problem. Some men – we seek refuge with Allaah – betray Allaah and betray their trust, and cause problems for their daughters. The guardian is obliged to do that which pleases Allaah and His Messenger. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband)” – i.e., give your daughters in marriage – “and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid‑servants (female slaves).” [al-Noor 24:32]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then marry (your female relative under your guardianship) to him, for if you do not do so, there will be tribulation and great mischief on earth.”
Some people – we seek refuge with Allaah – make their daughter a commodity to be sold to whoever they want, and they prevent her from marrying whoever they do not want. So they marry their daughter to a man whose character and religious commitment are not pleasing, because that suits their whims, and they prevent her from marrying one whose character and religious commitment are pleasing, because that does not suit them.
Would that we could reach the level where a woman whose father prevents her from marrying one whose character and religious commitment are compatible could go to the qaadi and he would tell her father, “Marry her to him or I or a guardian other than you will do so,” because a girl has the right, if her father prevents her from marrying someone, (and she complains to the qaadi). This is a right given by sharee’ah. Would that we could reach this level, but most girls are prevented by their shyness from doing this.
Our advice to the father is still to fear Allaah and not to prevent her from marrying, because that may cause her to do something wrong and may lead to mischief. Let him ask himself, if he were prevented from marrying, what would happen to him?
His daughter whom he prevented from marrying will become his opponent on the Day of Resurrection:
“That Day shall a man flee from his brother,
And from his mother and his father,
And from his wife and his children.
Every man that Day will have enough to make him careless of others” [‘Abasa 80:34-37 – interpretation of the meaning]
Guardians, including fathers and brothers, must fear Allaah and not deny women their right to marry the one whose religious commitment and character is pleasing to them.
Yes, if a woman chooses someone whose religious commitment and character are not pleasing, then he (the father or guardian) may prevent her from marrying him. But if she chooses a righteous man whose religious commitment and character are good, then he prevents her from marrying because of his own whims and desires, this is haraam, by Allaah, and it is a sin and a betrayal. If any mischief results from this, the sin will be on him (the father).
Al-Liqa’ al-Shahri by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (www.islam-qa.com)
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