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I want to know more about co-wives marryage


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#1 Guest_Umm Aiyman_*

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Posted 30 April 2005 - 05:12 PM

As salam alaikum warahmatullah wa barakatuhu.My dear sisters please informed my what mean equality in co-wives marryage and a  second question is,,Can muslim husband to spend all days with first wife and to  spend night only with his second wife?Jazakull allah al  khaiyr.

#2 Ameeraana

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Posted 30 April 2005 - 06:05 PM

as-salaam aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

here is a fatwa on treating co-wives equal:

Question #34701: The obligation to treat co-wives fairly in giving gifts


Question :

    I have two wives, and I want to buy some gold for one of them as a gift. Is it permissible for me to do that, or would this be unfair treatment of co-wives? Please note that I do not fall short in giving the other wife her rights.


Answer :

    Praise be to Allaah.    

    Whoever has two or more wives has to treat them fairly. It is not permissible for him to single out one of his wives with regard to spending, accommodation or spending the night, to the exclusion of the others. There is a stern warning issued to the one who has two wives and does not treat them fairly. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has two wives and inclines more towards one of them than the other, will come on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body falling.”  According to another version: “Dragging half of his body which will be falling or leaning.” Narrated by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 2/295, 347, 471. A similar hadeeth was also narrated by al-Nasaa’i and Ibn Maajah in their Sunans.

    And it was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has two wives and inclines more towards one of them, will come on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body leaning.” Narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan, 2/601. Al-Tirmidhi narrated something similar in al-Jaami’.

    This evidence indicates that it is obligatory to treat co-wives fairly and equally, and that it is haraam for the husband to incline more to one of them in a way that will hurt the other. This does not include the inclination of the heart, for a person has no control over the inclination of the heart. Hence the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to divide his time equally among his wives, and he said: “O Allaah, this is my division of that which I can control, so do not take me to task for that over which You have control and I have no control” [meaning love in the heart].

    Based on this, it is not permissible for this husband to single out one of his wives with regard to something over which he has control. If he gives a house etc to one of his wives, he must treat all his wives equally in that regard, and give a similar gift or something of equal value to all of them, unless the second wife allows that.


    Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (16/189). (www.islam-qa.com)

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here is a fatwa on a husband spending time with his co-wives:

Question #13740: He has two wives and he is not dividing his time among them fairly


Question :

    Is it obligatory for a husband with two wives to designate specified days for each wife.  Also, is it permissable that he share the days between the two.  My husband presently has no designated days for us.  He comes to my home when he has finish his rounds at my co-wives house.  He then comes to my home to go to bed.  This arrangement is not acceptable to me.  Were on the brink of divorce.


Answer :

    Praise be to Allaah.

    The one who has more than one wife has to treat all his wives fairly. One of the matters in which he must be fair is the division of his time, i.e., he must give each wife a day and a night, and he must stay with her on that night.

    Al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “The Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the opinion of the majority of Muslim scholars indicate that a man has to divide his days and nights between his wives [giving each a full day and night], and that he has to be fair in doing so. (al-Umm, 5/158). And he said: I do not know of any (scholarly) disagreement with the view that a man must share his time among his wives and do so fairly. (al-Umm, 5/280).

    Al-Baghawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If a man has more than one wife, he has to treat them equally, if they are free [i.e., not slaves], whether they are Muslims or from among the People of the Book [i.e., Jewish or Christian]. If he does not treat them equally, then he has disobeyed Allaah and he has to make it up to the one whom he wronged. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has two wives and leans towards (i.e. favours) one of them (over the other), will come on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body leaning.” However there is some dispute concerning its isnaad. (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2/242; al-Tirmidhi, 3/447; al-Nasaa’i, 7/64; Ibn Maajah, 1/633; classed as saheeh by al-Haafiz in Buloogh al-Maraam, 3/310, and al-Albaani in Irwaa’ al-Ghaleel, 7/80).

    What is meant by this “leaning” is favouring in terms of actions; a man will not be taken to task for the inclination of his heart if he treats (his wives) equally in practical terms. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them…”

    [al-Nisaa’ 4:129]

    What this means is that you will never be able to treat them equally in your heart, so do not incline too much towards one of them, i.e., do not make your actions follow your whims and desires.

    (Sharh al-Sunnah, 9/150-151)

    Ibn Hazam (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Treating co-wives equally is obligatory, most of all sharing one’s nights between them.

    (al-Muhalla, 9/175)

    Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: He has to treat his wives fairly according to the consensus of the Muslims. In the four Sunans it was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has two wives…” He has to be fair in his division of time between them. So if he stays with one of them for one night, or two or three, he should stay with the other for the same number of nights, and he should not give preference to one of them in his sharing of his time.

    (Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 32/269)

    Al-‘Ayni said, commenting on the hadeeth, “Whoever has two wives…”: It was said that what was meant was that half of his body would be leaning in a real sense, or that he would have no acceptable excuse for favouring one wife over the other. The apparent meaning is that this is in the real sense. This is indicated by the report of Abu Dawood, “with half of his body leaning.” The punishment fits the crime, because he did not treat them fairly or he deviated from what is right. Because of his being unfair and favouring one of them, his punishment is that he will come before the witnesses on the Day of Resurrection with one half of his body leaning.

    (‘Umdat al-Qaari’, 20/199. See also al-Mabsoot, 5/217).

    Al-Shawkaani also understood this to mean that it is obligatory (to treat co-wives fairly). See al-Sayl al-Jiwaar, 2/301; Nayl al-Awtaar, 6/216

    Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: We know of no dispute among the scholars concerning the fact that it is obligatory to treat co-wives equally when sharing one’s time between them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “and live with them honourably” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19], but favouring one of them is not honourable.

    Al-Mughni, 8/138

    This husband has to fear Allaah and be fair in his division of his time. The wife has to tell him of the ruling of sharee’ah concerning what he is doing, and of the warning of mistreatment. She should remind him of Allaah and the Hereafter, so that he will check himself and be fair in his division of time. This is better than separating, in sha Allah. And Allaah knows best.


    Islam Q&A
    Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)




fi aman Allah,

Ameera

#3 Aisha

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Posted 03 May 2005 - 11:40 AM

As-salaamu alaikum.

Dear sister Umm Aiyman,

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Your question has been sent to islamtoday.net to be answered by a scholar inshaAllah.

WaSalaamu alaikum,
Om-AbdulRahman.

#4 Aisha

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Posted 05 May 2005 - 12:26 PM

As-Salaamu alaikum.

Here is the reply from islamtoday.net:

Fatawa ID

19074 Date: 2005-05-03 09:38:00

Question: As-Salaamu alaikum A sister is asking the following question: What is the meaning of equality in co-wives marriage? Can a Muslim husband spend all days with first wife and to spend night only with his second wife? Jazakull allah al khaiyr.
Answer:



Dear sister:

Al-Salam `Alaykum wa rahmah Allah wa Barakatuh.

The husband is obligated to be just with his wives. He has to give equal time to each wife in her respective home and spend the same amount on each. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “ Whoever has two wives and treated one of them better than the other will come in the Hereafter with his body twisted to one side” (Related by Ahmad, Abu Dawûd and al-Nisa’î with a correct line of transmission).

However, when he first gets married to a new wife, she has a right to spend some time with him to start off the marriage. A virgin has a right to seven consecutive days and a previously married woman has a right to three. After that, a strictly and absolutely equal division of time must be maintained. Usually each wife gets her husband on alternate nights.

Spending daytimes with one wife and nights with another would be inherently unjust, because of the different nature of those times.

Spending has to be just. He cannot buy one wife expensive gifts and the other cheap ones. He must spend the same on them. In some cases, he might spend more on one than the other, but in the pursuit of justice and out of necessity. For example, if the refrigerator of one wife breaks, he should buy her a new one. He does not in this case have to buy the other wife a refrigerator if she has a decent one in good working order.

Fatwâ Department Research Committee of IslamToday chaired by Sheikh `Abd al-Wahhâb al-Turayrî





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