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THIS QUESTION IS NOT FORE YOUNG GIRLS!


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#1 Guest_MuslimSisters_*

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Posted 13 September 2003 - 03:15 PM

                    Bismillahi arrahman arrahiim!
Asalam alikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu!

:oops: I want to ask my sisters a ambarisnig question about oral sex  :roll:
Is it allowd to hawe oral sex with his wife  ore me to hawe it whith my husband!  :oops: And if i it is allowed for us to  hawe telephone sex if bouth are agreed on it! I am remarried for one week now and  we dosent live together he live in a another city and it takes 5 ours whith train to go to him but he is going to mowe here 1october alhamdulillah! :oops:
If someone can answer my cuestion privet ore here! :oops:
I hope it is not forbidden for me to ask this question here but i hawe to hawe some answers!  :oops:

Wa alikum salam wa rahamtulahi wa barakatuhu!                    

#2 muslimsister

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Posted 13 September 2003 - 04:58 PM

                    Wa alaikum assalaam wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh,

Fatawa Reference : ID #85
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Question : Is oral sex permitted?
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Answer :Yes, oral sex is permitted, because any form of enjoyment between the husband And the wife is permitted with the exception of what is explicitly prohibited by the sacred texts. The prohibited acts are: sex during menstruation, sex during post-natal bleeding, and anal sex.  
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#3 muslimsister

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Posted 13 September 2003 - 04:58 PM

                    Assalaam alaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh,
Question:


Is it allowed for a married couple to speak through the telephone about sex and to excite eachother so much that one of them or both get an orgasm(without their hands, because that is not allowed) This happens because the man is living abroad for work and they see eachother only once every four month and they miss eachother very much.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, who answered as follows:

“There is nothing wrong with that. Yes, it is permissible.”

Question:

Even if there is use of the hand?

Answer:

“There are some reservations about use of the hand (i.e., masturbation). It is not permissible unless one fears that one may commit zina otherwise.”

Question:

So as long as there is no use of the hand, it is OK?

Answer:

“Yes, as long as there is no use of the hand, it is OK. He can imagine that he is with her and there is nothing wrong with that.”

They should also make sure that no one is listening to what they say or is spying on them. And Allaah knows best.



Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (www.islam-qa.com)                    

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Posted 13 September 2003 - 05:11 PM

                    Bismillahi arrahman arrahiim!
Asalam alikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu!

Jazak allaho khairan habibti i was loking over there but i dident find anything! But thank you for the help it was wery helpful!  

Wa alikum salam wa rahamtulahi wa barakatuhu!                    

#5 muslimsister

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Posted 25 September 2003 - 02:46 PM

                    Assalaam alaikum wa rahmatu Allahi,
Sister, please do not post fatwas in this area.  We have certain sites that we take fatwas from, and the site you used is not one of them.  If you have a fatwa you want me to look at, please PM me.
I am deleting your post, sister Norwegian sister.                    

#6 muslimsister

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Posted 25 September 2003 - 03:22 PM

                    assalaama alaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh,
Another fatwa for more information:
Question:


Can I have romance with my wife while she is in the state of inpurity (mens. and after child birth) .

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.  

A man can be intimate with his wife when she is menstruating or in nifaas; this falls into three categories:

1 – Being intimate and having intercourse with her in the vagina. This is haraam according to the consensus of the Muslims and the text of the Qur’aan. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore, keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they are purified (from menses and have taken a bath)”
[al-Baqarah 2:222]

2 – Being intimate by kissing, embracing, touching etc. parts that are above the navel and below the knee. This is permissible according to scholarly consensus.

See Sharh Muslim by al-Nawawi, and al-Mughni, 1/414

3 – Being intimate with regard to the area between the navel and the knee, apart from the front or back passage. The scholars differed as to whether this is permissible. Imam Abu Haneefah, Imam Maalik and al-Shaafa’i were of the view that this is haraam, and Imam Ahmad was of the view that this is permissible; the latter view was also shared by some Hanafis, Maalikis and Shaafa’is. Al-Nawawi said: The evidence for this view is stronger and it is the preferred view.

Those who say that it is permissible quoted evidence from the Qur’aan and Sunnah.

With regard to Qur’aanic evidence, they quoted the verse mentioned above (interpretation of the meaning):

“…therefore, keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they are purified (from menses and have taken a bath)”
[al-Baqarah 2:222]

The phrase fi’l-maheed (translated as during menses) refers to both the time of menstruation and the site of menstruation, which is the vagina. So long as the woman is menstruating, having intercourse with her in the vagina is haraam.

Ibn Qudaamah said in al-Mughni, 1/415:

The fact that the site of bleeding is mentioned specifically indicates that it is permissible to be intimate in other areas.

With regard to the Sunnah, Muslim (302) narrated from Anas that the Jews, if any of their women was menstruating, would not eat with them or meet with them in their houses. The companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about that, then Allaah revealed the verse (interpretation of the meaning):

“They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore, keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they are purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allaah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina). Truly, Allaah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves”

[al-Baqarah 2:222]

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “So do everything except intercourse.” News of that reached the Jews and they said, “What does this man want? He does not leave any of our affairs but he differs from it!”

What is meant by “they would not meet with them in their houses” is that they would not mix with them or stay in the same room with them. This was the view of al-Nawawi.

Abu Dawood (272) narrated from ‘Ikrimah from one of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted to engage in any intimacy with one of his wives when she was menstruating, he would put a piece of cloth over her private part. Al-Haafiz said: its isnaad is qawiy (strong); it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 242.

It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 5/395:

It is haraam for the husband to have intercourse with his wife in her vagina when she is menstruating, but he may be intimate with her everywhere else.

It is better for the man, if he wants to be intimate with his wife when she is menstruating, to tell her to wear something to cover her between the navel and the knees, then he may be intimate with her in any other area.

Al-Bukhaari (302) and Muslim (2293) narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: “If one of us was menstruating and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted to be intimate with her, he would tell her to wear an izaar (waist wrapper) at the peak of her menstruation, then he would be intimate with her.”

Muslim (294) narrated that Maymoonah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would be intimate with his wives above the izaar (waist wrapper) when they were menstruating.

“The peak of her menstruation” means at the beginning when the flow is heaviest. This was the view of al-Khattaabi.

Ibn al-Qayyim said in Tahdheeb al-Sunan, commenting on hadeeth no. 2167 from ‘Awn al-Ma’bood:

The hadeeth “Do everything except intercourse” clearly indicates that what is forbidden is only intercourse in the site of menstruation, which is intercourse in the vagina, but everything else is permissible. The hadeeth which speak about the izaar (waist wrapper) do not contradict that, because that is a precautionary measure and is better.

It may be that a distinction is made between the beginning of the period and the end, so that it is mustahabb to cover the area between the navel and the knee when the bleeding is heaviest, which is at the beginning of the period.

Al-Haafiz said:

This is supported by the hadeeth narrated by Ibn Maajah with a hasan isnaad from Umm Salamah, that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would avoid intimacy with her for three (days), then he would be intimate with her after that.  

Note:

The rulings mentioned above apply to both menstruating women and women in nifaas (bleeding after childbirth).

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, after mentioning the rulings on a man being intimate with his wife when she is menstruating:

The woman in nifaas is like the woman who is menstruating in this regard.

Al-Mughni, 1/419.

And Allaah knows best.



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#7 muslimsister

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Posted 25 September 2003 - 03:38 PM

                    Assalaam alaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuh,
Jazaki Allahu khairan Norwegian sister.  Just for clarity, it is not allowed to swallow sperm.
Question:


I love my wife, but she has said that she doesn't love me. She does not want to have intercource with me. Earlier in our marraige we performed oral sex. Her position now that it is najas (impure), therefore she is turned of completely sexually. We have agreed that to fulfill my needs, I should marry another wife. But my job cut my salary considerably. I am afraid of angering Allah by divorcing her. Could I marry a woman who would waive some of my financial responsibilities until I am able to equally provide for both?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.  

You should know that it is not permissible for you to force your wife to do anything repulsive or that may cause impurity (najaasah) to enter the stomach, and you should have intercourse with her in a natural manner. Your wife should know that it is not permissible for her to forsake her husband’s bed when he calls her to do something that is permitted in Islam and to fulfil one of his rights, which is to enjoy her in the manner that Allaah has permitted. It is not permissible for a wife to refuse to share her husband’s bed without a legitimate shar’i excuse, such as when she is menstruating or bleeding following childbirth. A stern warning is issued to the wife who refuses to share her husband’s bed, and there are many ahaadeeth concerning that. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning comes.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, Bid’ al-Khalq, 2998)

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If a woman spends the night having forsaken her husband’s bed, the angels will curse her until she goes back.’” (narrated by al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4795)

And it was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘By the One in Whose hand is my soul, there is no one who would be pleased with her.’” (Narrated by Muslim, al-Nikaah, 2595).

It was narrated that Talq ibn ‘Ali said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to him, then let her respond, even if she is at the oven (baking bread).’” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1080, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, no. 927, in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi).

If a woman consistently refuses to spend the night with her husband in his bed, then she forfeits her rights to maintenance and also her share of her husband’s time [in the case of a plural marriage], because maintenance is a right given in return for intimacy. Such a woman is considered to be naashiz (defiant, rebellious, disobedient). Al-Bahooti said: Nushooz (defiance, rebellion) means when a wife does not let her husband be intimate with her or she responds to him unwillingly as if she finds it too much when he calls her, and she only responds reluctantly.

(Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat by al-Bahooti, vol. 3, p. 55)

If a woman is defiant, then she no longer has the right to maintenance, because maintenance is in return for allowing her husband to have intercourse with her.

Nushooz means a wife disobeying her husband with regard to her obligations towards him. Allaah has stated what the husband is permitted to do in the case of his wife’s being disobedient. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great”[al-Nisa’ 4:34]

The fuqaha’ said: If she persists in her disobedience after he has admonished her and refused to share her bed, i.e., not slept with her as long as she persists in that, and not spoken to her for three days, because Allaah says, ‘refuse to share their beds’ – if she persists even though he has refused to share her bed and not spoken to her for three days, then he may hit her, but not hard.

In this case, it is permissible for him to divorce her. Al-Mardaawi said: divorce is permissible when necessary because of the woman’s bad attitude and bad behaviour, or because of harm caused to him by her actions. So divorce is permissible in this case, and there is no scholarly dispute on this point.

(al-Insaaf, vol. 8, p. 430)

But if she has gone off you in a way that cannot be remedied, and she dislikes you so much, then in this case divorce is recommended, because staying married in this case is harmful to the wife. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There should be no harming or reciprocating harm.”

See al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi, vol. 2, p. 305.

You will not be considered a sinner if you divorce her in this case.  With regard to the solution of your financial problems, it is permissible for you to marry a woman who agrees to support herself, or who agrees to let you off some of your financial responsibilities towards her, just as it is permissible for you to agree with your first wife to stay married whilst forgoing some of her rights. It is permissible for a wife to forego some of her rights to a share of her husband’s time and maintenance so that he will keep her and so that she may stay married to him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no sin on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves; and making peace is better” [al-Nisa’ 4:128]

‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “This refers to a woman who is married to a man and he wants to divorce her, so she says, ‘Keep me and do not divorce me, and you are freed any obligation to spend on me or give me a share of your time…’”

al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi, vol. 2, p. 296

Because maintenance is one of the wife’s rights, so when they reach an agreement that she will forgo her rights or some of her rights, then that is up to her. On this basis then if the woman whom you want to marry agrees to forgo maintenance, that is permissible. And Allaah knows best.



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