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Asalamu Alikum Sisters
Ramadhan Mubarak !!!
I have a few questions ..
A while ago I met a guy .. he is muslim .. astagfirullah .. we started hanging around together and going out with each other .. one night one thing led to another and we did it .. neither of us were married and we were both really sorry and upset about what we did afterwards .. there was just one thing .. I fell pregnant .. It has been about a year now and my daughter is now 5 months old .. he didnt want to marry me and I didnt want to marry him .. I have a fiancee in the US .. I met him online about 3 years ago and when I told him atfirst he was really upset .. Alhumdulilah we got through it all and he came just after she was born .. I do not see my babys father anymore we have no contact .. I was just wondering *what rights if any does the father have over my child ? I am not married to my fiancea yet .. I am worried that oneday he will come back and tell me he wants to play the father role .. can he do that even if I am now engaged to be married ? .. I want my daughter to think of my fiancea as her father when she is older inshallah as he has been her father so far and he takes care of her like a father should .. My fiancea has been there for us through out it all and he truely loves our daughter sincerly .. we have big plans to get married inshallah and just take care of our daughter and be happy inshallah .. Im just worried that her father will come riding along on his high horse and demand to be a part of her life .. im not sure what rights he has and what to do if this happens .. I dont want to ask my fianceaa these kind of questions because he gets all emotional and upset when I mention him .. please help me
Allah Hafiz
~Laila~
0
Please help
Started by
Guest_SisterLaila_*
, Oct 24 2004 10:24 AM
2 replies to this topic
#3
Posted 26 October 2004 - 07:23 AM
Salam alikom
Tawbah (repentance) from fornication and what is the status of a child
Question :
There is another problem that has been worrying me for some time—namely, I committed fornication with a woman. How do I repent. Can I marry her in order to cover up the whole affair?
Another man says he committed fornication outside his country, and he knows that the woman conceived and delivered a child. Is this his child? And is itobligatory for him to bear the costs of the child’s upbringing?
Answer :
Questions of this sort are asked so often and by so many that it is time Muslims paid serious attention to their reformation in the light of the Qur’an and Sunnah, in order that such things do not occur in the first place. Special stress is to be placed on the lowering of the gaze, no bodily contact (including shaking hands) between men and women, wearing of the full hijab, prohibition of meetings in secrecy in particular and of mixing of sexes in general, discouraging unwarranted travel to non-Muslim countries, and early marriages. As for the question about one who committed fornication, there can be two situations.
Either the man did it by force, that is, raped the woman. Such a man should pay her the amount of mahr (dower) in accordance with her social class, as compensation for what harm he caused her. As for himself, he should sincerely repent. And, if the matter has reached the authorities, then he should be punished according to the law of shari’ah. See Madarij 1/366.
Or, he has he had sex with a woman who consented to the act. There is nothing due from such a man except repentance. Neither the child is his, nor is the cost of upbringing born by him because it is an illegal child and must be attached to the mother and not the father.
The man’s marriage to the woman, for the sake of covering up the issue, is also not permissible. For Allah revealed in the Qur’an a verse whose meaning can be translated as: “An adulterer does not marry but an adulteress or mushrika (polytheist). And an adulteress does not marry but an adulterer or mushrik (polytheist). (Al-Noor:3)
It is also not permissible to marry a woman who is pregnant from an adulterous act, even if the man has fathered the baby in the womb, as it is also not pemissible to marry a woman about whom it is not known if she is pregnant or not.
Nonetheless, if he repents, and she also repents, and she is proved to be not carrying a child, then it is permissible that he marry her and begin a new life. If she is carrying a child, they must wait until she delivers birth.
Excerpted from the book I Want to Repent but (www.islam-qa.com)
Tawbah (repentance) from fornication and what is the status of a child
Question :
There is another problem that has been worrying me for some time—namely, I committed fornication with a woman. How do I repent. Can I marry her in order to cover up the whole affair?
Another man says he committed fornication outside his country, and he knows that the woman conceived and delivered a child. Is this his child? And is itobligatory for him to bear the costs of the child’s upbringing?
Answer :
Questions of this sort are asked so often and by so many that it is time Muslims paid serious attention to their reformation in the light of the Qur’an and Sunnah, in order that such things do not occur in the first place. Special stress is to be placed on the lowering of the gaze, no bodily contact (including shaking hands) between men and women, wearing of the full hijab, prohibition of meetings in secrecy in particular and of mixing of sexes in general, discouraging unwarranted travel to non-Muslim countries, and early marriages. As for the question about one who committed fornication, there can be two situations.
Either the man did it by force, that is, raped the woman. Such a man should pay her the amount of mahr (dower) in accordance with her social class, as compensation for what harm he caused her. As for himself, he should sincerely repent. And, if the matter has reached the authorities, then he should be punished according to the law of shari’ah. See Madarij 1/366.
Or, he has he had sex with a woman who consented to the act. There is nothing due from such a man except repentance. Neither the child is his, nor is the cost of upbringing born by him because it is an illegal child and must be attached to the mother and not the father.
The man’s marriage to the woman, for the sake of covering up the issue, is also not permissible. For Allah revealed in the Qur’an a verse whose meaning can be translated as: “An adulterer does not marry but an adulteress or mushrika (polytheist). And an adulteress does not marry but an adulterer or mushrik (polytheist). (Al-Noor:3)
It is also not permissible to marry a woman who is pregnant from an adulterous act, even if the man has fathered the baby in the womb, as it is also not pemissible to marry a woman about whom it is not known if she is pregnant or not.
Nonetheless, if he repents, and she also repents, and she is proved to be not carrying a child, then it is permissible that he marry her and begin a new life. If she is carrying a child, they must wait until she delivers birth.
Excerpted from the book I Want to Repent but (www.islam-qa.com)
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