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Wanting to convert but like some advice please


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#1 Guest_Cherryl002_*

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Posted 29 May 2007 - 04:55 PM

Assalam alaykum

I am 17 years white girl and would like to convert to islam. I have been thinking about this for a while.  I finish school in year and thought it would be the best time to convert. Although thinking what if something happened to me tommorow, be too late then. One thing thats stopping me is wearing hijab straight away. I know I shouldn't think about what people at school may think but I really don't want everyone asking questions and think other people will be constantly judging me. I do have a few muslim sisters, and they have been teaching me about islam and so grateful. Not only this I have been in relationship with muslim guy for nearly 3 years. And really don't want people thinking I have converted for him. He wants to marry me, even though his parents probably still won't accept me, due to traditions rather than religion. Not that I want to marry me this young. But this is not about him. Do I have to wear hijab straight away of when I feel ready? And has anyone been in this situation with school and worried what friends may say? Even though I know I shouldn't care. And any advice?

Assalam alaykum


#2 MissPink

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Posted 29 May 2007 - 05:33 PM

Hi Cheryl

Wow! Masha'Allah my heart is filled with happiness and hope for you smile.gif

Thank Allah that He is guiding you to Islam.  If you do feel that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is His Messenger, then you should just declare it and become a Muslimah!!!!  This is the most important thing, since nothing is guaranteed for us in life.

You will face many changes and challenges in your life, so as long as you have the intention to wear hijab, to pray, to fast, etc... you just start out as best as you can, and ask Allah to help you.  This type of asking/praying is called making dua' (or supplications) and is something you should always do because Allah loves for us to realize our immense need for HIM.  He is the one who will make things happen for you.

So sister don't worry about the other things.  Focus on your foundation which is :
Oneness of Allah
Prayer

*after that comes*
Fasting
Giving Zakat
Making Hajj in your lifetime

Please keep asking us here, insha'Allah we can help you!

#3 prudence

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Posted 29 May 2007 - 07:30 PM

Assalam alaikum dear Cherrryl,

donīt worry about hijjab. You donīt have to wear it  right away, you should do it when youīre ready and feel strong enough, inshallah. Allah will make it easy on you, inshallah.
Most of us had good experiences starting wearing it! And most of us didnīt wear it straight away, too.  wink.gif  Firstly, concentrate on prayers, try to pray all of them and on time and then slowly move on...
Donīt think about others, think about yourself and your faith. It may seem hard at the begininng, but Iīm sure youīll be loving it, being a muslima, inshallah.
It will also make your relationship to your future husband better  wink.gif
But donīt rush into marriage if you are unsure, finish your school, get to know Islam first, make sure you like the way of living in Islam...
I wish you all the best, and hope you make a right decision.
Browse through this forum, you may find helpfull infos! And ask the sisters any question you have  wink.gif

bye!

#4 Ilovefajr

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Posted 29 May 2007 - 11:43 PM

Salam Alaikum Sister,

Don't worry. It's not what makes you Muslim. It is so much easier away from the school enviorment even tho' other envoirments are not exactly Muslim friendly. Once out of school, you are more free to be yourself and will feel the strength inside, Insha'Allah.

It's good you are clear on your intentions being your relationship with Allah, not your boyfriend. I understand because people always assumed my reversion must be related to a man and it was not.

You can Google on this issue too. I have heard many a great Khutbah in person and speeches from esteemed Imams who make it clear the focus is not on the outward appearances as some Muslimas do not wear hijab and are devout and others do and are not. It's a beautiful outward sign and during prayer brings a fuller  benefit. I would recommend when you are home praying that you wear your hijab because there is something about this, I just can't explain.

Salam Alaikum Sweet Sister

#5 hopyawe

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Posted 30 May 2007 - 12:12 AM

assalam alikom Cheryl,
I am so happy for you to have found Islam...Allah knows what is in your heart and Allah will make it all so easy for you, just wait and see! You'll be amazed by the Rahma (mercy) Allah gives you and how easy it all is! Just take your time with hijab and be easy on yourself, keep it simple insha'Allah b/c I slam is simple, perfect and beautiful all praise and thanks to Allah alone! Be sure that Allah loves you by opening your heart and guiding you to Islam! Take care and be well!
love, Kim

#6 rayofhope04

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Posted 30 May 2007 - 12:46 AM

As Salaamu alaikum, Peace be with you, dear Cheryl! smile.gif

Welcome to the forums! smile.gif

It's so nice to see you searching for the truth and being so sincere. I am around your age too (16 going on 17 soon inshaAllah, God willing) and must say open-mindedness in this age is often hard to find. But may Allah reward you for being so open minded and objective in your search for the truth, ameen.

Anyway, the most important thing for you right now, is, if you believe that there is no god to be worshipped but God Alone (Allah, in the Arabic language), the same God of all the Prophets, including Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad (peace be upon them all), and if you believe that Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the last and final messenger, you can even accept Islam right now, this minute.

All you need to say is the following in Arabic:

ASH HADU AN-LAA ILAAHAA IL ALLAH, WA ASH HADU ANNA MUHAMMADAN RASUL ALLAH
"I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, is His last and final messenger."


Simple, huh? smile.gif I think if you sincerely believe this, you should accept Islam soon since like MissPink mentioned, we never know where life may take us, or when we will die, and we all want to die believing in the Oneness of God and believing in Him.


As for hijab and prayer, etc... these things will eventually come. It is natural to feel scared and shy at first when something is so new, and many sisters who also embraced Islam coming from a different religion or background as well as sisters who were born muslim but only started practicing later in their lives will tell you the same thing: It can be hard in the beginning, but later Allah makes it easy.


So just to repeat what the others have said, the other things like hijab, etc... can wait, but saying your testimony of faith (Shahadah) is the most vital and essential thing to do.


May Allah guide you and keep you on the straight path, ameen! wub.gif Feel free to PM me anytime and post any/all of your questions on the forums. We would love to be of assistance, God willing. wub.gif

Zahra

#7 *Sister*K*

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Posted 30 May 2007 - 01:29 AM

Yeah there are lots of us "white girls" on the forum who have become muslim. All praises due to Allah.

To answer your question..........OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH!! I was soooooooo scared when I even told people that I became a muslim and was even more scared when I told them that I wanted to wear hijab about 7 months after I became muslim. Just take baby steps, one thing at a time and Allah Willing, everything will fall into place.

You will probably have some people that will be very upset with your decisions and it might be a bit rough but with patience and time things will be fine. One thing that I recommend is to involve your parents as much as you can. I find a lot of parents, including my own thought that I was joining some cult and would leave them and they would never see me again, etc. With time they have understood that I am still their daughter and they are very much imporant to me. Your parents/family might need that re-assurance to. wink.gif

Keep us posted.

#8 fkhans

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Posted 30 May 2007 - 09:10 AM

Asalamualekum warahamtullahi wabarakatuhu


WELCOME TO THE FORUM SIS.smile.gif


its great to hear that ur interested in reversion mashallah.smile.gif

really ur post made me feel happy to see ur love towards Allah(swt)

if ur ready then take shahdah and duno worry abt hijab u can wear it when u feel ur ready though as u know muslim woman shud wear them.

Nothing will be easy but u pray Allah(swt) to make ur path eay a:nd inshallah u can do it.

IMPORTANT:Duno think much abt ppl asking why when where coz i use to think and evry time it stopped me to wear hijab but mashallah when i decided that i will not listen to them then things went easy Alhamdulillah.smile.gif

Dear sis be in touch and ask what ever u wanna wr r here to help u inshAllah.smile.gif


Allah hafiz

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#9 Sarah-Anisah

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Posted 30 May 2007 - 11:53 PM

Welcome to the forum  smile.gif

First and foremost you are right to consider taking the shahada as soon as possible... what are you doing NOW?? No time like the present  wink.gif

I agree it is hard to think about wearing Hijab in the first instance but once you pray your shahada pleasing Allah will be your main priority and this comes above whatever outside influences may think. I can tell you from my own experience peoples curiosity only lasts a week at the most and after that they somehow just get used to seeing you in hijab. I personally wore my hijab from the minute I prayed my shahada and yes it was not easy at first, it felt like EVERYONE was staring at me  unsure.gif , a bit like the feeling you get when you have a huge spot on your face, you THINK everyone is looking but in reality they are not. Try wearing it in the house first just so you get used to it yourself, try different styles until you feel comfortable with it.

I certainly would not put of praying the shahada until you are ready to wear the hijab, MashaAllah it sounds as though you have supportive Muslim friends anyway so take strength from them, ask them for encouragement and they will be only too pleased to help you.

There are a few threads on this forum about sisters journeys towards Islam, maybe read through them and you will see that we have all had our own struggles, worries and concerns about our journey towards Islam.

Among many great threads are:

Whats stopping you?

Shahada and prayers for new muslims

Whats your story?

How do I learn how to pray properly?

Which side of the fence are you on?

Have a browse through and you will realise you are not alone and your fears and concerns are completely normal  wink.gif there is also info on how to pray properly and what you can pray until you know all the words  wink.gif

Most of all, please understand that we are all here to help you on your journey and whatever thoughts or concerns you may have please share them with us so we may help you (no matter how small or silly you may feel they are).

Take care and hope to hear from you soon.

#10 lisa_Was_here

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Posted 31 May 2007 - 12:47 AM

QUOTE(Cherryl002 @ May 29 2007, 12:55 PM) View Post

Assalam alaykum

I am 17 years white girl and would like to convert to islam. I have been thinking about this for a while.  I finish school in year and thought it would be the best time to convert. Although thinking what if something happened to me tommorow, be too late then. One thing thats stopping me is wearing hijab straight away. I know I shouldn't think about what people at school may think but I really don't want everyone asking questions and think other people will be constantly judging me. I do have a few muslim sisters, and they have been teaching me about islam and so grateful. Not only this I have been in relationship with muslim guy for nearly 3 years. And really don't want people thinking I have converted for him. He wants to marry me, even though his parents probably still won't accept me, due to traditions rather than religion. Not that I want to marry me this young. But this is not about him. Do I have to wear hijab straight away of when I feel ready? And has anyone been in this situation with school and worried what friends may say? Even though I know I shouldn't care. And any advice?

Assalam alaykum


First, don't label yourself by skin colour...you are a going to be Muslim and there is no difference between races in Islam, we are all equal...so the fact that you felt like you need to tell people you are 'white' is irrelevant here biggrin.gif MashaAllah.
Second, why do you have to wait until u finish school? Maybe you will be busy when school ends. Are you going to college? That is a whole new set of issues to deal with and a new set of people to worry about. Maybe if you convert while you are in highschool then you can practise dealing with the issues of Islam on these people who already know you! Also, when you leave them then you will leave them as a Muslimah not as anything else, thus you leave them with the BEST impression you can make (regardless of if they see it that way!).
Last, don't be so concerned about what this Muslim guy thinks nor what his family thinks...just decide for you what is right. You don't know if you will marry this guy anyways. And boyfriends are Haram in Islam anyways...soooo if he was following the sunnah of Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa salam then what is he doing having a relationship with you before marriage? ohmy.gif

Sister, Congratulations on making this wonderful decision!!! It's beautiful and don't worry about other people...There will ALWAYS be people that disagree with your choices, no matter what they are. You can't put your life on hold to please other people. Remember Allah sunhanaho wa ta'ala and convert as soon as you feel it in your heart! Then take it day by day and learn as quickly as you can with letting anyone impede your progress. You will be sooooo happy if you follow Islam for yourself!! And have an open mind about the future...and people in your life now...if they don't like your choices then let them go their own way! But don't let them stop you.

Good luck

Your sister in Islam
Lisa

#11 lisa_Was_here

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Posted 31 May 2007 - 01:54 AM

I want to mention that many new muslimahs in the west find difficulties to start wearing hijab, so it's understandable that they delay this until they deal with the other more important things first...BUT it's not accepted as okay to not wear Hijab. If you don't wear hijab but you maintain the belief that u are disobeying God then that is better then creating the false belief in your head that it's okay to not wear hijab....I hope u get my point:D

I got this information from the following book:
" Islam and some vital Issues" By: DR. Arafat El-Ashi

so you know, I didn't just make it up myself smile.gif

I suggest that you go to the masjid near your community. If you have to travel then do it. It's worth the effort!!! Then talk to the sisters you meet and tell them u a new muslim, and you don't have any books on Islam. InshaAllah they will lend you sooo many good books that you won't have time to read them all!!!


Edited by lisa_Was_here, 31 May 2007 - 08:12 PM.


#12 Islam_mk

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Posted 01 June 2007 - 10:17 PM

Salam sisters and especially you sis Cheryl,

It's been a long time since i posted, but this topic mashallah is really worth leaving a comment for...even though i mean no disrespect to any other topics:D  

Well here goes, I'm not that younger than you, just say a year and i strted wearing teh hijjab at the age of 11. (alhamduliallah)

I aint gonna blabble on because all of the sisters mashallah have given you the best advises...one thing i would like to say though, hold your head up high if you decide to wear the hijjab, especially if people give you rude comments (smile at them when they make the comments, lol....it drives them mad!)...well if it escelates...then answer back, but not in the manner that they use eg. swearing...

I hope it don't reach to those stages inshallah...but sooner or later sumone wil make a hurtfull comment...

well,i wish you all the best inshallah in what ever decision you will take

Allah Hafiz...sis Islam

#13 fragrant

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Posted 04 August 2007 - 05:07 PM

Salam Sisters,

Oh come on sister Cheryl (I like your name- sweet wink.gif ), just try to wear the hejab for a day or two and see how it goes. You can even do it now before you convert. Forget about what people thinks. If anything happens, you can always dial 911 tongue.gif  Ok just kidding. I know its hard, especially if you live in rednecks countryside.

Sister Lisa I wouldnt mind if she tell that she is white girl. No problem with that. Its not something to be ashamed of (nor to boast either). In Quran, Allah mention that he created different races/ nations so that we can learn things from each other. If races or skin colour is not allowed to be mentioned, then we wouldnt know that Bilal r.a is Black or that Abu Hurairah is from Yemen or that Salman al Farsi is a Persian (The fact that he is called Salman Al Farsi (Salman The Persian) shows that its ok to point out your background). The point is, its ok smile.gif Personally I love to know people's backgrounds. To have just one "theme" is so boring. Differences, if we know how to benefit from it; makes life so much more interesting smile.gif

Sister I am so happy for you that you actually have 3 muslim sisters to guide you in real life! Mashaallah you are so lucky, really!

Pray to God about your boyfriend- if it is good for you to be his wife; may God make it easy for the two of you to marry. If not, may God replace him with someone better for your well-being. Trust in God, Cheryl- thats the most important thing.

Take care wub.gif

Edited by fragrant, 04 August 2007 - 05:08 PM.


#14 FatmaSabbagh

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Posted 17 August 2007 - 11:27 AM

QUOTE(Cherryl002 @ May 30 2007, 02:55 AM) View Post

Assalam alaykum

I am 17 years white girl and would like to convert to islam. I have been thinking about this for a while.  I finish school in year and thought it would be the best time to convert. Although thinking what if something happened to me tommorow, be too late then. One thing thats stopping me is wearing hijab straight away. I know I shouldn't think about what people at school may think but I really don't want everyone asking questions and think other people will be constantly judging me. I do have a few muslim sisters, and they have been teaching me about islam and so grateful. Not only this I have been in relationship with muslim guy for nearly 3 years. And really don't want people thinking I have converted for him. He wants to marry me, even though his parents probably still won't accept me, due to traditions rather than religion. Not that I want to marry me this young. But this is not about him. Do I have to wear hijab straight away of when I feel ready? And has anyone been in this situation with school and worried what friends may say? Even though I know I shouldn't care. And any advice?

Assalam alaykum



Assalaamu alaykom,

Sister cheryl, i'm not sure if you reverted to islam yet, if you haven't then you will need to think about doing the first most important thing in isalm and that is the shahada. Like you said "thinking what if something happened to me tomorrow" should be the biggest encouragement for you to take the first step into Islam. The hijab is something that must worn by all muslim women, but just remember you are only starting in islam you need to learn about praying first because thats what needs to be done straight away. Everything else take it a step at a time, increase your knowledge to begin with, study and find out why women have to wear hijab so you can build you courage on taking that step. I first started thinking about wearing hijab at the age of 15, not thinking about anything else i woke up one morning and put it on and went to school. My friends were surprised (muslim and non muslim). My muslim friends were happy for me and i felt so good and like i was on top of the world. My mother warned me not to rush so that i don't take it off later on, but i didn't listen, i wish i did. Two months later after Ramadan and Eid i started wanting to style my hair and put make up on again and unfortunately took it off. It is so bad to put the hijab on and then take it off. My father was upset from me and didn't want me to take it off but all i could think about was wanting to look good and be attractive. May allah forgive me for my mistake. I am now 28 and married and also wearing the hijab.  I wore it again at the age of 20 Alhamdulillah. When i studied why muslim women must wear hijab, i regret ever making that mistake. What i'm trying to advice you is take your time don't rush so you don't fall and make mistakes you will regret. It's like starting kindy you don't learn everything you need to know in one day, you are still getting educated till now. Islam has alot to teach you and you have alot to learn about islam, start with the most important step (ashahada), build your faith in Allah, increase your knowledge and always pray to Allah to guide you onto his righteous path. May Allah guide you and all th muslims.


Asalaamu alaykom.

Edited by FatmaSabbagh, 17 August 2007 - 12:06 PM.


#15 Sister Kamillah

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Posted 23 August 2007 - 05:05 AM

Asalamu Alaikum,

Since you want to become a muslim, do and this begins with saying the shahada and once you say the shahada you will begin to learn how to pray..After you begin to pray your five prayers a day, then all else falls into place. Start out with learning about Tauhid and Emaan and then after you know about these things and they become a part of who you are all else will be easy.  

Kamillah

#16 AYA15

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Posted 23 August 2007 - 08:22 AM

asslamo alikom cheri ,

I am around your age too (16 going on 17 the next year insha alla)

dont worry my sis i  have been wearing hijab for 4 years although i was born muslim .
at first i was asking alla to guide me to wear hijab during praying.
after  few weeks  alla guided me to wear it . and i  love it now el hamdolila
.





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