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A question on marriage

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#1 Guest_rparsons66_*

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Posted 28 August 2003 - 05:06 AM


I am new here so hope this is posted to the right place.

I am not a muslim - yet biggrin.gif ! I have always been a Christian and am married to a christian pastor. Am I right in thinking that if I were to revert and my husband was to remain a christian then we would have to separate? I have two young children and this is obviously a huge problem to me. I have been looking at Islam for some time and it has touched my heart and I long to step out but it is hard.



#2 muslimsister


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Posted 28 August 2003 - 06:44 AM

                    Hello Becky and welcome to the Sisters site.  We pray that you find it beneficial.
A Muslim woman can only be married to a Muslim man, so you are right in a way.  There is three month waiting period after a married woman declares herself a Muslim in which she cannot have relations with the husband, and sleeps in a separate area in which she can use to convince her husband of the correctness of Islam.  If he becomes a Muslim in that time, their marriage can resume.  If he does not, at the end of the three months, she is no long married to him and must separate.  
Indeed it is a very big trial, but a trial of faith.  One has to put everything into perspective as to this fleeting life of the world in comparison to the Eternal life.
Make a lot of prayer and ask for strength and guidance from Allah.  The most important thing is to discuss this with your husband.  It may be that Allah will guide him to Islam, and I pray that it will happen with ease.  
Please feel free to ask any questions you have either here, or in the Non/Muslim New/Muslim forum.  
Again, welcome to the site.  
The following ruling gives you the detail answer to your question from a scholar.

I know that Muslim women are not allowed in Islam to marry non-Muslim men; there is a sister on a converts list who recently became Muslim and who was asking what to do regarding her non-Muslim husband who accepted her conversion without any problems and who also lets her educate the children the Islamic way. However, when she asked for an advice, most of us told her that the husband has to take shahada or she should not remained married to him otherwise. Unfortunately, some other people don't believe so and advised her the opposite way, that she just should remain with the husband and so on,.... I would like you to send me concrete cases at the time of the Prophet (SAW) where Muslim women (sahabyate) would leave their non-Muslim husbands if those decided not to convert. I think those cases would be the only proof to convince the people of that list that Muslim women are not allowed to marry or remain married to non-Muslims men even though they are not against the woman's conversion.


Praise be to Allaah.

What you have said in your question about it being haraam for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir man is correct, and there is no doubt concerning that.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe” [al-Baqarah 2:221]

Al-Qurtubi said:

“ ‘And give not (your daughters) in marriage’ means, do not give Muslim women in marriage to Mushrik men. The ummah is agreed that a Mushrik should not marry a Muslim woman because this is like putting Islam in an inferior position. (Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 3/72).

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them” [al-Mumtahanah 60:10]

Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Chapter: when a mushrik or Christian woman who is married to a dhimmi (non-Muslim living under Muslim rule) or a harbi (non-Muslim belonging to a people who are hostile towards Islam) becomes Muslim. ‘Abd al-Waarith said, narrating from Khaalid from ‘Ikrimah from Ibn ‘Abbaas: if a Christian woman becomes Muslim shortly before her husband, she is forbidden for him… Mujaahid said: if he becomes Muslim during the ‘iddah [waiting period following divorce], then he may (re)marry her. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them” [al-Mumtahanah 60:10]. Al-Hasan and Qutaadah said concerning two Magians who became Muslim that their marriage was still valid. If one of them had become Muslim and the other had refused, the woman would have been divorced and he would no longer have any rights over her.

(Saheeh al-Bukhaari. See al-Fath, 9/421).

Examples of such women include:

Zaynab, the daughter of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). She was married to Abu’l-‘Aas ibn al-Rabee’ during the Jaahiliyyah, but when she became Muslim, their marriage was annulled, and she went and stayed with her father (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When her husband became Muslim, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent her back to him.

(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1143; Abu Dawood, 2240; Ibn Maajah, 2009; classed as saheeh by Imaam Ahmad, 1789. Al-Tirmidhi said, there is nothing wrong with its isnaad).

The correct view is that the husband can go back to her with no need to renew the marriage contract.

If the woman is still in her ‘iddah, he has more right (than anyone else) to marry her. If her ‘iddah has ended, she is free to choose whether to go back to him or not.

Al-Tirmidhi said:

On the basis of this hadeeth, the scholars said that if a woman becomes Muslim before her husband, then her husband becomes Muslim whilst she is still in her ‘iddah, then the husband has more right to her whilst she is still in her ‘iddah. This is the view of Maalik ibn Anas, al-Oozaa’i, al-Shaafa’i, Ahmad and Ishaaq.

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadeeth 1142).

Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said:

There is no dispute among the scholars concerning the fact that if a kaafir woman becomes Muslim then her ‘iddah ends, her husband has no rights concerning her if he has not become Muslim during her ‘iddah.

(Al-Tamheed, 12/23).

Ibn al-Qayyim said:

But what the ruling of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) indicates is that the marriage comes to a halt. If he becomes Muslim before the end of her ‘iddah, then she is (still) his wife, but if her ‘iddah ends, then she may marry whomever she wants. If she likes, she can wait for him, and if he becomes Muslim she is his wife and there is no need to renew the marriage contract.

(Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/137, 138)

Al-Qurtubi said:

Talhah ibn ‘Ubayd-Allaah was married to Arwaa bint Rabee’ah ibn al-Haarith ibn ‘Abd al-Muttalib. They were separated by Islam, then in Islam Khaalid ibn Sa’eed ibn al-‘Aas married her. She was one of the [Muslim] wives of the kuffaar who fled to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) kept her in Madinah and married her to Khaalid.

(Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 18/65, 66)

It was reported that Anas said: Abu Talhah married Umm Sulaym and the mahr between them was Islam. Umm Sulaym became Muslim before Abu Talhah. He proposed marriage to her and she said, “I have become Muslim. If you become Muslim I will marry you.” So he became Muslim and that was the mahr between them.

(Narrated by al-Nasaa’i, 3340)

The daughter of al-Waleed ibn al-Magheerah, the wife of Safwaan ibn Umayyah, became Muslim before him, and the marriage was annulled. Then he became Muslim later on, and she went back to him. It was narrated by Maalik in al-Muwatta’, 1132. Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: I do not know of any unbroken saheeh isnaad for this hadeeth, but it is famous and well known to the scholars of seerah, Ibn Shihaab, the leader of the scholars of seerah, and al-Shu’bi. The fame of this hadeeth is stronger than its isnaad in sha Allaah.

(al-Tamheed, 12/19)

Umm Hakeem bint al-Haarith ibn Hishaam, the wife of ‘Ikrimah ibn Abi Jahl. Her marriage was annulled, then he became Muslim during her ‘iddah, so she went back to her husband.

(Narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah in al-Musannaf, 4/107)

And Allaah knows best.

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