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Valid marriage?


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#1 Guest_Amani S._*

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Posted 23 December 2003 - 06:41 PM

                    Assalamu alaikum....

Here is the story.....

When I married my husband last Feb.  I knew he had been married before but he had told me that he was divorced.  I just found out last night that actually he is not divorced from his first wife which now makes me a co-wife (if my marriage is still valid).  His first wife just found out that he had married me about 1 month ago.  She lives in Malaysia and my hubby and i live in USA.  Because he basically withheld being married and didn't seek permission from his first wife,  is my marriage valid?

If I decide that I cannot trust him any longer because of him lying to me ,  are there grounds for me to divorce him?

Amani S.                    

#2 Paradise_lover

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Posted 23 December 2003 - 07:45 PM

                    Salam alikom

Question :


My question is if you would help me to know the Hadith or the point of vieuw from the Islamic law on the follwing situation.
If a woman is married to a man and that this man is also married to an other woman without her, the last, knows about this marriage.
No need to say that this is a difficult and very exceptional situation but seems the best concerning the circumstances?

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.  

The wife’s approval is not a condition for plural marriage, and it is not obligatory for the husband to have the approval of his first wife if he wants to marry a second wife. But it is good manners and kind treatment to approach the issue in such a way as to reduce the pain which women naturally feel in such cases, by smiling at her, greeting her warmly, speaking nicely to her and spending money on her according to his means, in order to gain her approval. Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/204.

If a husband takes a second wife, he has to treat his wives equally as far as possible. If he does not treat them equally then he is exposing himself to a stern warning, for it was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has two wives and inclines more towards one of them than the other, will come on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body leaning.” (narrated by al-Nisaa’i, ‘Ushrat al-Nisaa’, 3881; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Nasaa’i, no. 3682).

When Allaah permitted us to marry more than one woman, He said (interpretation of the meaning):

“but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice”[al-Nisaa’ 4:3]

So Allaah commands that a man should restrict himself to one wife, if he knows that he cannot be just. And Allaah is the source of strength.

See Fataawa Manaar al-Islam, 2/570.



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#3 Paradise_lover

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Posted 23 December 2003 - 07:48 PM

                    Salam alikom

Marrying second wife without the consent of first

Question: I want to know if a man wants to marry a second wife, is it obligatory for him to ask permission from his present wife? If his wife refuses, can he get married to the other woman anyway?

Answered by Sheikh `Abd al-Rahmân al-`Ajlân, lecturer at the Grand Mosque in Mecca

If a man intends to marry a second, third or forth wife and treat them fairly then he may do so. He does not have to get permission form the first wife. If such permission were needed, then only very few marriages would be held. He is allowed to marry if he believes that he can be just to them. The first, second, and third wives’ refusal or objection to his marriage is baseless.

Allah says in the Qur’ân: “If you fear that you will not be able to deal justly with the orphans, then marry women of your choice, two three or four. But if you fear you will not be able to deal justly with them, then only one.” [Sűrah al-Nisâ’: 3]

There is no evidence in the Qur’ân and Sunnah that the man needs the permission of his first wife in order to marry a second. Therefore, the burden of proof lies with those who are making such a claim.

And Allah knows best.

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#4 Guest_Amani S._*

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Posted 23 December 2003 - 07:49 PM

                    Assalamu alaikum.....

Jazak Allahu Khair Sister Paradiselover.  But what about not telling the second wife about the first one before marrying the second wife (i confused myself just typing that).

Is he required to tell the second before he marries her that he is already married?  Doesn't she have the right to know so that she can decide if she wants to marry into that type of situation?

Amani S.

P.S.  Sorry if I caught u in mid post and u were looking to answer those questions                    

#5 Paradise_lover

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Posted 23 December 2003 - 07:53 PM

                    Salam alikom

A woman should not ask for a divorce without a valid reason

Question: My question to you is about divorce. I know that divorce is not unlawful, however I read somewhere that a woman who asks for divorce for no reason will never ever enter Paradise. Can you please elaborate on that?

Answered by Sheikh `Abd al-Rahmân al-`Ajlân, lecturer at the Grand Mosque in Mecca

A woman should not ask for a divorce without a legal or valid reason as long as she can manage to live with her husband. Our Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Any woman who requests her husband to divorce her without a valid reason will not smell the scent of Paradise.”

However, if a proper marital life has become impossible between the two or if it has become simply unbearable for her, then it is permissible for her to ask for divorce. Allah says: “But if they separate, Allah will provide abundance for each of them from His all-reaching bounty.”

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#6 Paradise_lover

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Posted 23 December 2003 - 07:55 PM

                    Salam alikom

The ruling concerning the valid reasons for divorce

Question: What are the valid reasons for divorce, from your point of view your Eminence?

Response: For divorce there are many reasons:

From them (i.e. the many reasons for divorce) is lack of harmony between the husband and the wife such that it does not cause love from either one for the other or from both of them.

And from them is bad behaviour of the woman or lack of listening and obedience to the husband in what he commands of the good.

And from them is bad behaviour of the husband and his oppressing the woman and lack of fairness/justice for her.

And from them is his falling short of fulfilling her rights and her falling short of fulfilling his rights.

And from this is the occurrence of wrongdoing from one of them or both of them such that the situation is made worse because of this, so the only route is divorce, and from this is the husband or the wife turning to intoxicants and smoking.

And from them is the bad state of affairs between the woman and the husband's parents or either of them, and the lack of use of wise politics in dealing with each other.

And from them is the lack of the woman in caring and showing concern in cleanliness and dressing up and beautifying herself for her husband with perfume and good speech and cheerfulness when she meets her husband and when they have sexual intercourse.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz
Fataawa Islaamiyyah - Volume 3, Page 264
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#7 Paradise_lover

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Posted 23 December 2003 - 08:02 PM

                    Salam alikom

Question :


If a couple differs in their Islamic perceptions. One who grow up in the West and the other in the East. And they quarrel constantly and can't come to an agreement. At what point is talaq considered? Is it wrong for a sister to ask for talaq? Will she be punished on the Day of Judgment? Does the Arsh of Ar-Rahman shake once talaq is asked for? This is what one sister, growing up the West is being told by her husband from the East.
Jazak Allah khayr for your response.

Answer :

All Praises are Due to Allah

The divorce of a Muslimah from her husband is an affair which is loathsome to Allah and not a praise worthy event. This is due to the problems and possible evils. However, if there is a situation in the marriage life taking place between the man and the women, due to a defect or defects in one or both of them, such problems of deen, bad character, sickness, or a defect such as being sterile or similar. Then out of the mercy of Allah, seeking divorce is permissible. In this case, it is okay and there is nothing prohibited in seeking a divorce.

The thing which is prohibited is a wife seeking a divorce from her husband for no reason of the shariah. There is serious promise made for seeking a divorce without a valid reason. It is reported in the hadith of the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), "If a women asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of paradise is forbidden for her". (At-Tirmidhi narrated it. He said this is a hasan hadith. Sunnah At-Tirmidhi #1187.)

The hadith "marry and do not divorce for verily divorce causes the arsha (throne of Allah) to shake" is also forged and da'eef. (Al Jami As- Sagheer #2429)

Allah knows best.



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