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#1 Guest_Kashmiri Kuri_*

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Posted 06 May 2005 - 01:54 PM

salaam
as u may hav noticed i am new to this forum, some1 sent me the web address of this website and i had a look at quite a few times and found it relly interesting, i read this section and it said sumthin about the fact that a muslim person should know the haraam and the halal in sex b4 they get married, they only mentioned one saying that anal sex is haraam, but i was wondering wat else is there that is haraam in sex in Islam, do any of u knw??

hope u didnt mind me asking something so personal, its jus a matter of interest and to increase my knowlege b4 marriage.

Allah hafiz
x

#2 nevaluv

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Posted 06 May 2005 - 01:58 PM

I know a book that is called something like "the etiquette of sexual relations in islam". And it can be ordered online. At least here in Finland and i think they also ship to other countries.

Here is the address:

http://www.taqwamedia.com/

They have other books and stuff too smile.gif

Hope i helped even a little

#3 Aisha

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Posted 07 May 2005 - 07:30 PM

As-Salaamu alaikum.


It is also forbidden for a man and his wife to have intercourse during the time that she is menstruating or in nifaas (the period of bleeding following child birth).

The following fatwas are not specific to your question but contain the daleel for the forbidden acts between husband and wife.



Question #52803: Is there any expiation for having intercourse with a woman in her back passage?  

Question :

Is there any expiation for having intercourse with one’s wife in her back passage?.


Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

It is haraam to have intercourse with one’s wife in her back passage, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said that the one who does that is cursed.

We have quoted the evidence from the Qur’aan and Sunnah to show that it is haraam, as well as describing some of the evil consequences of that, in the answer to question no. 1103 and 6792.

Islam has not stipulated any expiation for this action, so there is no expiation for it apart from repentance and regret, and turning back to Allaah.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: What is the ruling on having intercourse with a woman in her back passage? Is there any expiation required of the one who does that?  

He replied:

Having intercourse with a woman in her back passage is a major sin and is one of the most heinous acts of disobedience, because it was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Cursed is the one who has intercourse with his wife in her back passage.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2162; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will not look at a man who had intercourse with a man or a woman in the back passage.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1166; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

What the one who has done that must do is hasten to repent sincerely, which means giving up the sin and abstaining from it out of respect for Allaah and out of fear of His punishment, regretting what he has done of that and sincerely resolving never to go back to it, as well as striving to do righteous deeds. Whoever repents sincerely, Allaah will accept his repentance and forgive his sins, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death)”

[Ta-Ha 20:82]

“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.

69. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;

70. Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Furqaan 25:68-70]

There is no expiation required of one who has anal intercourse, according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions, and his wife does not become haraam to him because of that, rather she remains his wife. But she does not have to obey him in this grave evil; rather she is obliged to refuse, and to demand a annulment of her marriage to him if he does not repent. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound from that.

From Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/256

Al-Bayhaqi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

If he does that (i.e., has intercourse with her in the back passage), then he should be punished (i.e., the judge or ruler should mete out a punishment that will deter him and others like him), because he has committed a sin for which there is no stipulated hadd punishment or expiation.

Kashshaaf al-Qinaa’, 5/190

So he clearly stated that it is a sin, but no expiation is required.

See Ansa al-Mataalib, 4/162; Mughni al-Muhtaaj, 5/624

Secondly:

Many people make the mistake of thinking that because there is no expiation stipulated for a particular sin that it is an insignificant matter and is a minor sin. This way of thinking is not correct. Rather if one were to say that Allaah has not stipulated any expiation for anal intercourse because it is too serious to be expiated by any expiation, that would not be farfetched. As Imam Maalik says concerning swearing a false oath (al-yameen al-ghamoos): it is too serious to be expiated by any expiation.

Al-Taaj wa’l-Ikleel, 4/406; see also al-Mudawwanah, 1/577

And Allaah knows best.



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Question #36722: Intimacy with one’s wife when she is menstruating or in nifaas

Question :
Can I have romance with my wife while she is in the state of inpurity (mens. and after child birth) .


Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.  

A man can be intimate with his wife when she is menstruating or in nifaas; this falls into three categories:

1 – Being intimate and having intercourse with her in the vagina. This is haraam according to the consensus of the Muslims and the text of the Qur’aan. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore, keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they are purified (from menses and have taken a bath)”
[al-Baqarah 2:222]

2 – Being intimate by kissing, embracing, touching etc. parts that are above the navel and below the knee. This is permissible according to scholarly consensus.
See Sharh Muslim by al-Nawawi, and al-Mughni, 1/414

3 – Being intimate with regard to the area between the navel and the knee, apart from the front or back passage. The scholars differed as to whether this is permissible. Imam Abu Haneefah, Imam Maalik and al-Shaafa’i were of the view that this is haraam, and Imam Ahmad was of the view that this is permissible; the latter view was also shared by some Hanafis, Maalikis and Shaafa’is. Al-Nawawi said: The evidence for this view is stronger and it is the preferred view.

Those who say that it is permissible quoted evidence from the Qur’aan and Sunnah.
With regard to Qur’aanic evidence, they quoted the verse mentioned above (interpretation of the meaning):
“…therefore, keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they are purified (from menses and have taken a bath)”
[al-Baqarah 2:222]

The phrase fi’l-maheed (translated as during menses) refers to both the time of menstruation and the site of menstruation, which is the vagina. So long as the woman is menstruating, having intercourse with her in the vagina is haraam.

Ibn Qudaamah said in al-Mughni, 1/415:
The fact that the site of bleeding is mentioned specifically indicates that it is permissible to be intimate in other areas.

With regard to the Sunnah, Muslim (302) narrated from Anas that the Jews, if any of their women was menstruating, would not eat with them or meet with them in their houses. The companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about that, then Allaah revealed the verse (interpretation of the meaning):

“They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore, keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they are purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allaah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina). Truly, Allaah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves”
[al-Baqarah 2:222]

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “So do everything except intercourse.” News of that reached the Jews and they said, “What does this man want? He does not leave any of our affairs but he differs from it!”
What is meant by “they would not meet with them in their houses” is that they would not mix with them or stay in the same room with them. This was the view of al-Nawawi.

Abu Dawood (272) narrated from ‘Ikrimah from one of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted to engage in any intimacy with one of his wives when she was menstruating, he would put a piece of cloth over her private part. Al-Haafiz said: its isnaad is qawiy (strong); it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 242.

It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 5/395:
It is haraam for the husband to have intercourse with his wife in her vagina when she is menstruating, but he may be intimate with her everywhere else.

It is better for the man, if he wants to be intimate with his wife when she is menstruating, to tell her to wear something to cover her between the navel and the knees, then he may be intimate with her in any other area.
Al-Bukhaari (302) and Muslim (2293) narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: “If one of us was menstruating and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted to be intimate with her, he would tell her to wear an izaar (waist wrapper) at the peak of her menstruation, then he would be intimate with her.”
Muslim (294) narrated that Maymoonah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would be intimate with his wives above the izaar (waist wrapper) when they were menstruating.
“The peak of her menstruation” means at the beginning when the flow is heaviest. This was the view of al-Khattaabi.

Ibn al-Qayyim said in Tahdheeb al-Sunan, commenting on hadeeth no. 2167 from ‘Awn al-Ma’bood:
The hadeeth “Do everything except intercourse” clearly indicates that what is forbidden is only intercourse in the site of menstruation, which is intercourse in the vagina, but everything else is permissible. The hadeeth which speak about the izaar (waist wrapper) do not contradict that, because that is a precautionary measure and is better.

It may be that a distinction is made between the beginning of the period and the end, so that it is mustahabb to cover the area between the navel and the knee when the bleeding is heaviest, which is at the beginning of the period.
Al-Haafiz said:
This is supported by the hadeeth narrated by Ibn Maajah with a hasan isnaad from Umm Salamah, that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would avoid intimacy with her for three (days), then he would be intimate with her after that.  
Note:
The rulings mentioned above apply to both menstruating women and women in nifaas (bleeding after childbirth).
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, after mentioning the rulings on a man being intimate with his wife when she is menstruating:
The woman in nifaas is like the woman who is menstruating in this regard.
Al-Mughni, 1/419.
And Allaah knows best.

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#4 Aisha

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Posted 11 May 2005 - 12:23 PM

As-Salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

Question: I read on your website that oral sex is permissible. How can this be the case when it can lead to injesting impurities? A man's and woman's genitals are impure. Common sense should tell us that this act is inherently shameful and unlawful. Just because something is not mentioned does not mean that you go out and do it.


Answered by Sheikh `Abd al-Wahhâb al-Turayrî, former professor at al-Imâm University in Riyadh

Oral sex is lawful for both the husband and wife. It can be understood from the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) saying: “Approach from the front or the back, but avoid anal sex and sex during menstruation.”

This is clear evidence that the prohibited sexual acts are anal intercourse and intercourse with a woman during menstruation and post natal-bleeding. Everything else between a husband and a wife is permissible.

The possibility of the existence of impurity does not stand as a sufficient evidence for forbidding it. If a person thinks the intake of impurity is imminent, he must take action to avoid it.

The female genitals are not impure as long as they are free from ordinary impurities.

A feeling of guilt cannot stand as evidence for the unlawfulness of something. The evidence can only be derived from what is in Allah’s Book or the Prophet’s Sunnah (peace be upon him). There is no evidence whatsoever from these two sources forbidding this practice. Therefore, as things are basically lawful unless evidence to the contrary exists, then this practice is lawful.

Some people may dislike a practice for their own personal reasons, but we cannot say that it is an unlawful practice in Islam.


#5 Aisha

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Posted 12 May 2005 - 07:54 PM

As-Salaamu alaikum.

From islamtoday.net:


Question:

Is a sister sinning if she refuses have oral sex with her husband and is she really denying her husband's rights ??? - can the husband insist on this even if he knows the sister cannot do it?? - The sister finds it truly disgusting but the husband is saying that most, if not all non muslim women do it and they do not have a problem with it and even some arab would do it without any problem. He is delaying having kids because of this problem and because he is threatening his wife of divorce or he is threatening her that he will take a second wife on the grounds that she will not agree to oral sex. It makes him very angry and he says that the sister is denying him his rights.
Is that true ?



Dear questioner:



Al-Salâm `Alaykum wa Rahmah Allah wa Barakâtuh.



Oral sex is not unlawful. However, the woman’s feelings must be taken into account. People’s sexual attitudes are different, and as long as she does not deny him sexual intercourse, then she is fulfilling her rights as a wife.


The husband does not have the right to demand of her that she engages in this practice.


Our advice to him is to show sensitivity and warmth to his wife and in his intimate relations with her. By doing so, by winning her confidence and making her comfortable with their intimacy, she might become more responsive to his wishes on her own. He needs to be sensitive, responsive, and receptive to her needs. He cannot expect to develop a full and loving relationship with his wife through coercion and threats.



Fatwâ Department Research Committee of IslamToday chaired by Sheikh `Abd al-Wahhâb al-Turayrî





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