7 replies to this topic

[shahada4]

salaam aleikum

I posted a similar question a few days ago, so if you want to check it out here it is the link:

http://sisters.islamway.com/modules.php?na...iewtopic&t=8183

[sarah_anisah]

Assalamu Alaikum
InshaAllah your wedding plans are going smoothly. i don't know about a civil ceremony as I never had one  :wink:  only the Islamic Nikah:

Here is a ruling about how an Islamic Wedding should be:

Question :


I am a new muslim and my parents are christian, they agree to take part in a islamic wedding but what are the steps we need to go about it? they are having it at their house and agreed to the food and becerage requirments fr the party following the ceremony. We are trying to have  it so that everyone is comfortable. but I have no idea what to do before during or after and want to make sure everything is in place so that later I don't have to find out that it is void because of a step not taken. I thought we were already married but I found out that we did not do it right.I need to know .

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.

For information on the steps involved in a correct marriage contract, please see Question no. 2127.  

With regard to having a wedding party in the Islamic manner, you have to keep away from the things which are forbidden in sharee’ah but which many people do not pay attention to during celebrations, such as the following:  

With regard to the woman: going to a male, non-mahram hairdresser to have her hair done; or adorning herself in ways that are haraam, such as thinning the eyebrows by plucking them, or wearing tattoos, or wearing hair extensions, or other kinds of haraam things, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed the one who plucks eyebrows and the one who has that done, the one who adds hair extensions and the one who asks to have that done; imitating the kuffaar in their dress, because usually the wedding dress shows many of the woman's charms and her body, in such a way that the dress is very revealing - we seek refuge with Allaah – and also a great deal of money is wasted on the dress.  

Among the haraam actions that have to do with the man are: shaving his beard for the wedding night, which is done on the grounds that this makes him look more handsome, but this is something which is haraam according to sharee’ah; letting one's clothes hang below the ankle (isbaal).  

There follows a list of haraam things which both men and women should avoid in the wedding party:  

1-     Mixing of men with women, and things that are involved in that, such as greeting and shaking hands with one another, and men and women dancing together, because all of that is haraam and is a very serious matter.

2-     Taking pictures, whether men do that amongst themselves or women do that amongst themselves.

3-     Drinking alcohol or eating pork.

4-     Letting the husband come in to where the women are in order to take his wife.

5-     Women wearing revealing, tight or short clothes amongst themselves, because this is haraam – so how about wearing such things in front of men?

6-     People should avoid spending extravagantly or going to extremes in showing off in wedding parties, because that may wipe out the blessing.

7-     The husband and wife exchanging rings and thus imitating the kuffaar, thinking that this will increase the husband’s love for his wife and vice versa.  

Finally, both partners should know that the more the teachings of Islam are followed in the wedding party, the more blessed their marriage will be, the more love and harmony there will be between them, and the less problems they will encounter in their married life. For if the married life is based from the outset on haraam things which go against the commands of Allaah, how can they expect the marriage to be successful after that? There have been many marriages in which there were things that went against the commands of Allaah, and they did not last. Fear Allaah with regard to this party and keep it free of things that are forbidden in Islam. May Allaah bless you both. We ask Allaah to give you and your husband strength. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.  

And Allaah knows best.

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Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

[Hessa]

assalaamu alaikum,

My Islamic marriage ceremony was very simple (and by the way, you can have the sheikh and your witnesses sign the legal marriage certificate that you get from the state, meaning you don't need to hire a judge).  There was a sheikh, two male witnesses, my wali, and my husband, and of course me.  You should think about what you want to put in your marriage contract before you go to the masjid or prepare it before going.  The men did all the talking, and I just waited.  They came to hear me say that I wanted to marry my husband and that I agree with the marriage contract.  I didn't have a wedding party until a couple of months later.

[Hessa]

Assalaamu alaikum,

It's my understanding that you can put anything you want.  You should include a statement about your Mahr.  We put something in case of a divorce.  I also put some things that I want him to do for me (and our future family, en sha' Allah) in the future.  Some women put a statement about their husbands not being allowed to marry more wives, but I am not sure if that's Islamically correct to do that.  I hope that helps.  Maybe another sister has more to add.....

[D A L I]

Asalem wa alaikum sistaz,

Inshallah everyone is well and filled with peace in their iman.

I have a question about the marriage ceremony too....

i pretty much know the gest of it all but what I'm not sure of is this...

do i have to say anything in the ceremony? I know that a woman acceptance is in her silence so does that mean that I just stand there the whole time while my wali does all the talking for me?

plz fill me in on the details sistaz....

[Hessa]

assalaamu alaikum,

at my islamic cermony, I sat alone while the men did all the talking, but they all came in and asked me if I agree with the marriage contract and if I want to marry my husband, so I think they have to hear you say that you want the marriage.