Jump to content



0

Sexual question need HELP!!!!


3 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_hrls_*

Guest_hrls_*
  • Guests

غير متواجدة

نقاط الإعجاب: 0


Posted 27 October 2004 - 06:39 PM

Salam alaikom sisters,

I am sorry if what I am about to say offends anyone but I have a serious question that I have not been able to answer. I have been married for almost 6 month now and alhamdulilah it has been wonderful. The only thing that concerns me is when we are ''together''...I have a few questions which I am not sure are hallal or haram.
1st I know that oral sex is halal and from what I have been told it is haram for semen to enter the stomach..is that true? because I am sure you know that a man may have a slight release even before he is ''close''
2nd this point is very embarrising for me :oops: but sometimes his finger may come across my ''rear'' area now I know it is haram for anal sex but if his finger comes to contact with that area or any other part of him does...as long as he is actually having anal sex....I have been unsure about that and have been wondering I hope you can help me because I do not want to do anything that is haram...
Thankyou sisters and I hope I didn't offend anyone too much

#2 Paradise_lover

Paradise_lover

    Our Sister

  • Members
  • 2,057 posts

غير متواجدة

نقاط الإعجاب: 0


Posted 28 October 2004 - 11:37 AM

Salam alikom

Swallowing sperm is not allowed.

Question:


I love my wife, but she has said that she doesn't love me. She does not want to have intercource with me. Earlier in our marraige we performed oral sex. Her position now that it is najas (impure), therefore she is turned of completely sexually. We have agreed that to fulfill my needs, I should marry another wife. But my job cut my salary considerably. I am afraid of angering Allah by divorcing her. Could I marry a woman who would waive some of my financial responsibilities until I am able to equally provide for both?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

You should know that it is not permissible for you to force your wife to do anything repulsive or that may cause impurity (najaasah) to enter the stomach, and you should have intercourse with her in a natural manner. Your wife should know that it is not permissible for her to forsake her husband’s bed when he calls her to do something that is permitted in Islam and to fulfil one of his rights, which is to enjoy her in the manner that Allaah has permitted. It is not permissible for a wife to refuse to share her husband’s bed without a legitimate shar’i excuse, such as when she is menstruating or bleeding following childbirth. A stern warning is issued to the wife who refuses to share her husband’s bed, and there are many ahaadeeth concerning that. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning comes.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, Bid’ al-Khalq, 2998)

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If a woman spends the night having forsaken her husband’s bed, the angels will curse her until she goes back.’” (narrated by al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4795)

And it was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘By the One in Whose hand is my soul, there is no one who would be pleased with her.’” (Narrated by Muslim, al-Nikaah, 2595).

It was narrated that Talq ibn ‘Ali said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to him, then let her respond, even if she is at the oven (baking bread).’” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1080, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, no. 927, in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi).

If a woman consistently refuses to spend the night with her husband in his bed, then she forfeits her rights to maintenance and also her share of her husband’s time [in the case of a plural marriage], because maintenance is a right given in return for intimacy. Such a woman is considered to be naashiz (defiant, rebellious, disobedient). Al-Bahooti said: Nushooz (defiance, rebellion) means when a wife does not let her husband be intimate with her or she responds to him unwillingly as if she finds it too much when he calls her, and she only responds reluctantly.

(Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat by al-Bahooti, vol. 3, p. 55)

If a woman is defiant, then she no longer has the right to maintenance, because maintenance is in return for allowing her husband to have intercourse with her.

Nushooz means a wife disobeying her husband with regard to her obligations towards him. Allaah has stated what the husband is permitted to do in the case of his wife’s being disobedient. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great”[al-Nisa’ 4:34]

The fuqaha’ said: If she persists in her disobedience after he has admonished her and refused to share her bed, i.e., not slept with her as long as she persists in that, and not spoken to her for three days, because Allaah says, ‘refuse to share their beds’ – if she persists even though he has refused to share her bed and not spoken to her for three days, then he may hit her, but not hard.

In this case, it is permissible for him to divorce her. Al-Mardaawi said: divorce is permissible when necessary because of the woman’s bad attitude and bad behaviour, or because of harm caused to him by her actions. So divorce is permissible in this case, and there is no scholarly dispute on this point.

(al-Insaaf, vol. 8, p. 430)

But if she has gone off you in a way that cannot be remedied, and she dislikes you so much, then in this case divorce is recommended, because staying married in this case is harmful to the wife. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There should be no harming or reciprocating harm.”

See al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi, vol. 2, p. 305.

You will not be considered a sinner if you divorce her in this case. With regard to the solution of your financial problems, it is permissible for you to marry a woman who agrees to support herself, or who agrees to let you off some of your financial responsibilities towards her, just as it is permissible for you to agree with your first wife to stay married whilst forgoing some of her rights. It is permissible for a wife to forego some of her rights to a share of her husband’s time and maintenance so that he will keep her and so that she may stay married to him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no sin on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves; and making peace is better” [al-Nisa’ 4:128]

‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “This refers to a woman who is married to a man and he wants to divorce her, so she says, ‘Keep me and do not divorce me, and you are freed any obligation to spend on me or give me a share of your time…’”

al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi, vol. 2, p. 296

Because maintenance is one of the wife’s rights, so when they reach an agreement that she will forgo her rights or some of her rights, then that is up to her. On this basis then if the woman whom you want to marry agrees to forgo maintenance, that is permissible. And Allaah knows best.



Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

#3 Paradise_lover

Paradise_lover

    Our Sister

  • Members
  • 2,057 posts

غير متواجدة

نقاط الإعجاب: 0


Posted 28 October 2004 - 11:39 AM

Salam alikom

Oral sex

Question: One of the sisters is asking, saying that she is a practising young woman who got married six months ago. (She says) her husband demands she suck his penis, and she asks if this is permissible or not?

Response: All praise is due to Allaah (alone). There is no doubt that (the request of) this practise from the husband of the questioner is a disgusting practise and obviously disliked. It also undermines the (good) manners between the husband and wife, and could possibly be a cause for (each partner) disliking (the other) and (leading to) separation (divorce).

‘Aa.ishah (radhi-yallaahu 'anhaa) was one of the wives of the Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam), and it has been narrated on her authority that:

((He (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) did not see this of her and she did not see this of him)). (i.e. they did not see each other’s private parts, even though it is permisible).

As regards the ruling about this, then the least that can be said about it is that it is disliked, and Allaah knows best.

Shaykh ‘Abdullaah ibn Munee’
Fataawa Muhimmah li-Nisaa. al-Ummah – Page 154
www.fatwa-online.com


Note: The basic ruling regarding the wife seeking pleasure of her husband’s penis is that of permissibility, however, that which is feared is that this act may lead to possible oral intake of sperm or prostatic fluids. The Hanaabilah have indicated the permissibility of a wife kissing her husband’s penis, as is mentioned in ((al-Insaaf)) of al-Maardeenee [Volume 8, Page 33], and this is the opinion of Ibn ‘Aqeel and other than him. Also, Asbagh from the Maalikiyyah has indicated the permissibility of a man kissing his wife’s vagina as is mentioned in ((Tafseer al-Qurtubee)) [Volume 12, Page 231].

#4 Paradise_lover

Paradise_lover

    Our Sister

  • Members
  • 2,057 posts

غير متواجدة

نقاط الإعجاب: 0


Posted 28 October 2004 - 11:41 AM

Salam alikom

Inserting fingers into the back passage  



Question :


Is it permissible for a man to engage in foreplay with his wife by inserting his fingers into her back passage?.

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.  

It is permissible for each spouse to enjoy the entire body of the other, looking and touching, even the private part. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“They are Libaas [i.e. body-cover, or screen, or Sakan (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with them)] for you and you are the same for them”

[al-Baqarah 2:187]

With regard to the husband engaging in foreplay with his wife in this manner, this may mean one of two things:

Either touching the anal sphincter, or by inserting his finger into the anus.

With regard to simply touching the anal sphincter, there is nothing wrong with that, but it is better to avoid doing that because that may lead to something else.

With regard to inserting the finger into the anus, this should not be done, for several reasons:

1 – The anus is the site of uncleanliness (najaasah) and faeces.

2 – One of the reasons why anal intercourse is forbidden is so that the penis will not come into contact with unclean faecal matter; by the same token inserting the finger into the anus will make it come into unnecessary direct contact with unclean faecal matter.

3 – This action is something that is abhorrent to the sound fitrah (innate nature of man) and offends good taste. Rather it is blind imitation of those whose fitrah is corrupt and whose tastes are nasty, who do everything that they think of to satisfy their animalistic desires with no care for good manners, morals or cleanliness, and their desires make them see something foul as something good.

4 – Persisting in doing that may lead a person to do that which is worse than that, namely anal intercourse. This is the habit of those who follow their desires and do whatever appeals to them, so they gradually fall into more serious things because of the less serious things that they are attracted to. Thus they move step by step until they end up committing “lesser sodomy” (intercourse with a woman in her back passage). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) described that by means of a brilliant analogy when he said: “What is permissible is clear and what is forbidden is clear, and between them are dubious matters of which many people are not aware. Whoever is cautious in the dubious matters will save his religious commitment and his honour, but whoever falls into dubious matters will fall into haraam, like a shepherd who grazes his flocks around a private pasture and is liable to enter it at any moment. Every king has a sanctuary, and the sanctuary of Allaah is the things that He has forbidden. In the body there is a piece of flesh which, if it is sound, the entire body will be sound, and if it is corrupt, the entire body will be corrupt. It is the heart.”

Muslim, 4049.

5 – What Allaah has prescribed in the relationship between husband and wife is sufficient and there is no need for anything else. Allaah has not forbidden anything except that which is harmful.

The questioner should realize that in His complete wisdom, when Allaah forbids something (in this case, intercourse in the back passage), He also forbids the things that lead to it, because when a person does the things that lead to a haraam action, his heart becomes attached to it and finds himself torn between either doing the evil action or keeping away from it, and suffering because of that. So he does not keep away from haraam in such a way that he has peace of mind, nor does he fall into it and fulfil the desires of his evil nafs. Usually in such cases a person ends up doing what he thought that he would never do of major sins that doom a person to Hell and ruin all his affairs, both religious and worldly, and ruin his life and take away all blessings (barakah) from his wealth and children, as a result of his moving far away from his Lord and transgressing His sacred limits and not caring about the fact that Allaah is watching him in all his affairs. The wise man is the one who does not take lightly those things that lead to disaster in his religious commitment which is the capital of his wealth and comes before his worldly interests.

The Muslim should understand the true nature of things and what they lead to. He should not be affected by what the Shaytaan makes attractive to him or think of evil actions as insignificant, lest that cause him to become one of the losers. He has to fear Allaah his Lord in secret and in public, and remember that Allaah can see him and knows his intentions and what he does, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Allaah knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the breasts conceal”
[Ghaafir 40:19]

He should remember that what is with Allaah is better and more lasting, and that the Hereafter and the delights that it contains is better for him than this world, and that the reward for being patient in refraining from evil actions is Paradise as wide as the heavens and the earth, in which is whatever the heart could desire of perfect pleasures that are free of all evils.

See also question no. 36722.

May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad.



Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users