This is my first posting. I am a non Muslim Christian seeking answers. I read the Bible and the Quran but yet I am still confused with which is right and which is not. There are parts of the Bible that I have read and I agree with and there are parts I have read that I do not agree with. This is the same with the Quran. I do not understand why a man and a woman who are interested in one another romantically are not allowed to spend alone time with one another. You must be strong within yourself to over come satan and his desires. My friend who is Muslim has told me it is not allowed. How are you to get to know this person and fall in love if you are unable to spend time together one on one. I have been told that you are unable to pet or play with any dogs?? Is this true and why? It seems unreal to me because God has created all living things. Why are we not allowed. Please guide me in the right way. I do not want to let go of Christianity if it is the true right way, but yet if Mulim is the true right way than I do not want to waste any more precious time. Josiahrayne
0
Guidance Needed
Started by
Guest_Josiahrayne_*
, Jan 21 2004 05:29 PM
12 replies to this topic
#2
Posted 21 January 2004 - 07:05 PM
Hello Josiah,
Welcome to Islamway Sisters forum, you are female, correct?
I pray that Allah guide you to the right path and to correct understanding.
There are many that insha' Allah will help answer your questions, but we need to make sure you are female. If you are not, insha' Allah we can point you to another site that will help you, since this is a female site.
Welcome to Islamway Sisters forum, you are female, correct?
I pray that Allah guide you to the right path and to correct understanding.
There are many that insha' Allah will help answer your questions, but we need to make sure you are female. If you are not, insha' Allah we can point you to another site that will help you, since this is a female site.
#3 Guest_Josiahrayne_*
Posted 22 January 2004 - 01:03 AM
Yes I am female. I was told about this site from another sister. I am really struggling on which is right and which is not. I have done a lot of research on both religions. I have even prayed with my sister and I have memorized the prayer in Arabic and the English translation. I always go back and forth with WHAT IS RIGHT. It would be nice to hear from other sisters that have been where I am now or others that are struggling like myself. I feel very confused and frustrated.
#4
Posted 22 January 2004 - 04:07 AM
O.k. then Josiah 
,
I'm sure you will get many replies. I just wanted to make sure about the gender.
The idea that love has to come before marriage is a Western idea, and not necessary for a successful marriage, as you must know with 1/2 of the marriages in the West ending in divorce. A marriage built on the husband and wife's fear of Allah and desire to please him and not transgreess the limits that God has laid forth is a marriage that has a much better change of being firm and staying firm. I'm not saying Muslims don't get divorced, they do; but if the marriage is based on these principals, most of the time a deep love and respect grow and the marriage stays intact over the years.
Insha' Allah the sisters will write more.
Wa assalaam
,
I'm sure you will get many replies. I just wanted to make sure about the gender.
The idea that love has to come before marriage is a Western idea, and not necessary for a successful marriage, as you must know with 1/2 of the marriages in the West ending in divorce. A marriage built on the husband and wife's fear of Allah and desire to please him and not transgreess the limits that God has laid forth is a marriage that has a much better change of being firm and staying firm. I'm not saying Muslims don't get divorced, they do; but if the marriage is based on these principals, most of the time a deep love and respect grow and the marriage stays intact over the years.
Insha' Allah the sisters will write more.
Wa assalaam
#5 Guest_beautysmile_*
Posted 22 January 2004 - 01:09 PM
Selemz Josiah :wink:
Welcome to our forum. For your question about marriage. I totally agree with what this sis told you. Also they cannot meet beacuse of the women's dignity. Sometimes man only listen to their hormones and maybe don't really need the women to live with but just to have a short relationship with her so that he gets what he wants but if the couple gets married and then gets to know each other, then it is better because they both fear Allah so the man won't try to hurt his wife. One more thing, you said how are they supposed to know each other? Well in islam, a man sees you somewhere or asks about your deen ect. Now if he is interested in you or the other way around then he comes and asks you to be his wife. Now your parents, friends ecet make research about him and see if he is good and loving, religious ect. then your parents haev to agree on the marriage as well as his family. I hope I helped, if not then make arrows and write a question beside it so that I can answer all of your questions and it's easier for me.
wa selem :wink:
Welcome to our forum. For your question about marriage. I totally agree with what this sis told you. Also they cannot meet beacuse of the women's dignity. Sometimes man only listen to their hormones and maybe don't really need the women to live with but just to have a short relationship with her so that he gets what he wants but if the couple gets married and then gets to know each other, then it is better because they both fear Allah so the man won't try to hurt his wife. One more thing, you said how are they supposed to know each other? Well in islam, a man sees you somewhere or asks about your deen ect. Now if he is interested in you or the other way around then he comes and asks you to be his wife. Now your parents, friends ecet make research about him and see if he is good and loving, religious ect. then your parents haev to agree on the marriage as well as his family. I hope I helped, if not then make arrows and write a question beside it so that I can answer all of your questions and it's easier for me.
wa selem :wink:
#6
Posted 23 January 2004 - 04:56 AM
Asalam alaikoum sister Josiahrayne,
I recently became muslim myself, and as someone who was christian before, i'm sure i can answer some questions you might have.
First of all, I commend you in that you are already praying and know how in arabic also!! This a great achievement and I felt that I had to do so before I could call myself muslim because I wanted to start praying the second I said my shahadah.
If you are praying and reading Qur'an, then deep down inside you already know that Islam is the right path. Allah(swt) will guide you for sure but this is a great test for you. Not everyone has the strength to challenge their faith and make a decision like this that will change their life forever.
But remeber that we will always be the same person inside...I just think that now I am more complete feeling, as though I have direction in my life each day, and it is something I am very grateful for.
Where are you in Canada, because there are many places where you can go to meet other new muslimahs out there?
Inshallah you will soon find the confirmation that you need to recognize what your heart and soul have already told you: Islam is the true way for you to be at peace with yourself and these difficult questions you are asking.
Fe amanellah, I wish you the best!
I recently became muslim myself, and as someone who was christian before, i'm sure i can answer some questions you might have.
First of all, I commend you in that you are already praying and know how in arabic also!! This a great achievement and I felt that I had to do so before I could call myself muslim because I wanted to start praying the second I said my shahadah.
If you are praying and reading Qur'an, then deep down inside you already know that Islam is the right path. Allah(swt) will guide you for sure but this is a great test for you. Not everyone has the strength to challenge their faith and make a decision like this that will change their life forever.
But remeber that we will always be the same person inside...I just think that now I am more complete feeling, as though I have direction in my life each day, and it is something I am very grateful for.
Where are you in Canada, because there are many places where you can go to meet other new muslimahs out there?
Inshallah you will soon find the confirmation that you need to recognize what your heart and soul have already told you: Islam is the true way for you to be at peace with yourself and these difficult questions you are asking.
Fe amanellah, I wish you the best!
#7
Posted 23 January 2004 - 05:20 PM
Assalaamu alaikum,
From my understanding, it is allowed to touch dogs, but the saliva of dogs is considered impure. The saliva of cats, however, is considered pure. If a dog's saliva touches you, you have to wash this part or clothing seven times, the last time with dirt. Also, there is a hadeeth about angels not entering a house in which there are dogs present. This is all that I know, so maybe another sister has more to add.
Jessica
From my understanding, it is allowed to touch dogs, but the saliva of dogs is considered impure. The saliva of cats, however, is considered pure. If a dog's saliva touches you, you have to wash this part or clothing seven times, the last time with dirt. Also, there is a hadeeth about angels not entering a house in which there are dogs present. This is all that I know, so maybe another sister has more to add.
Jessica
#9 Guest_beautysmile_*
Posted 23 January 2004 - 05:41 PM
Dear Respected Scholar,
I have a few questions about keeping pets in Islam. I have read on the Internet that the keeping of a dog is haraam unless the dog is being used for hunting or farming, while any other animal (reasonably) may be kept as a pet as long as it’s cared for.
Using a dog for the sake of protection or pure enjoyment is considered haraam? The source from which I received this information also stated that dogs are vile and contaminated, and there are certain procedures a Muslim must partake in to wash themselves after coming in contact with a dog, wet dog, and/or its saliva. I would like to know if this is true.
If this is factual, how should new converts of Islam (that love her/his dog as if it were a family member) confront this problem?
Also, it was stated that the Qur’an should not be read when there is a dog in the house. I have been reading the translated version of the Qur’an all this time (I’m almost halfway done), not knowing that what I have been doing may be very wrong! However, since the book is not handwritten and is translated, is this situation not even considered? Have I committed extremely unacceptable offenses due to my ignorance?
Please ease my confusion.
Thank you.
************************************************************
Dear sister,
First of all, I’d like to apologize for this late reply. In fact, your question is very interesting and I really appreciate your posing it, for it will help a lot in dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s concerning this issue. Thus addressing many misconceptions that have filled some minds.
To start with, I find it very important to make it clear that while setting rules and codes to govern human affairs, a divine religion like Islam must never let those rules be detached from the realities of life. As Allah says in the Qur’an:
... God intends every facility for you; He does not want to put to difficulties. ...
Surah 2 Verse 185
This means that the rules and teachings must not pose a difficulty for its followers. Thus, it’s normal to assume that certain benefits, apparent or hidden, are inherent in shari’a injunctions. Of course, this is apart from the sense of worship that compliance with them implies.
The issue of dogs is one of the most debatable issues in recent times, especially as da’wah gains ground in the West, whereby people enter into Islam in large numbers. Thus, the questions on the lips of many reverts is: ‘can I keep my dog while still abiding by my religious obligations? Will my new religion take away from me my dog, which has become my closest friend?’
What makes this issue so debated is the fact that there are many Prophetic hadiths that warn Muslims about getting into contact with dogs. In fact, some of these hadiths give warnings that going against this rule takes away a sizeable amount of reward from a person’s record (of good deeds) daily. Adding to that is the Prophet’s order for killing the dogs in Medina and the Angel Gabriel’s refusal to enter the Prophet’s house in one of his visits, citing the presence of dog as reason.
But alongside with this, are many hadiths that call for showing kindness to animals in general, including dogs, and the permissibility of keeping dogs for hunting, guarding, etc. It’s further reported that some of the Prophet’s companions, may Allah be pleased with them all, were in the habit of keeping animals for farming purposes or even for fun and pleasure.
So to clarify this confusion, we need to interpret those hadiths in the light of the Qur’an. The Qur'an makes it clear that there is no harm in eating animals grabbed by hunting dogs. Furthermore, it’s through the Qur'an that we get acquainted with the story of the Cave Companions (ahl-ul-khaf) who had with them their dog; this clearly shows that dogs have historically been used for guarding the person and the property of its owners.
This also indicates that dogs must be treated well they are of the animals referred to in the verse:
There is not an animal (that lives) on the earth, nor a being that flies on its wings, but (forms part of) communities like you.
Surah 6 Verse 38
The implicit message of this verse is that in Islam, the concept of mercy covers humans as well as animals, for Islam accords animals inviolable rights, part of which is to be fed well and not to be subject to torture or ill-treatment. Hence, I recall here the hadith in which the Prophet (pbuh), stated that a woman was doomed to enter Hell because of a cat...
‘which she neither fed nor let it eat from the vermin of the earth.’
This hadith makes it clear that Islam does not go against keeping animals, including watch or hunting dogs, as long as one does not neglect them. In fact, the Prophet (pbuh) states that showing kindness to animals is a means of earning reward:
‘In every living being there is reward.’
Adding to this is the hadith in which the Prophet (pbuh) told his companions a story concerning a man who found a dog in the desert panting and licking the dust due to thirst. The man went to a well, filled his shoes with water, and relieved the dog's thirst. Said the messenger of Allah (pbuh):
‘Allah appreciated this and forgave him all his sins.’ (Reported by al-Bukhari)
Having said this, we have to ask: ‘How is it that the religion that is rich in all these fine precepts about animal rights, is the same religion that warns its followers about getting into contact with dogs and even emphasizes that the utensils licked by dogs should be washed 7 times, one of them with earth?’
The answer is very simple. The basic rule in Islam is the permissibility of keeping dogs for hunting and guarding. Still, the exception to the rule is: excessiveness must be avoided as much as possible. The care and concern for human beings should take higher priority over the care of animals, and the reward for that is greater.
We will be able to understand this fact, when we notice that some people do pay a great deal of attention to their cats and dogs, at the expense of other things. It is better for Muslims to make the best use of their time in that which is beneficial and good. Some people spend more money on their cats and dogs, than they spend on their own sons and daughters! Then, let alone the poor and needy. They may even bring their pets to stay in luxurious hotels and bequeath large amounts of money to them.
You see, sister, going to extremes in showering dogs with love, concern and kindness, is what shari’a goes against, because there should be no collision between human rights and animal rights. Thus, in observing how lavishly the well-off treat their dogs while despising their relatives, and how much attention they give their dogs while neglecting their neighbors, one realizes the wisdom of the cautious approach the shari’a has towards this issue.
It’s also due to the danger that the dogs posed at a certain time during the lifetime of the Prophet (pbuh), that he ordered for the killing of the dogs, but he later rescinded this order. As we know, stray dogs pose as a nuisance and health hazard. They tend to defecate indiscriminately in the open, thereby posing a danger for children and pedestrians.
It’s also worth mentioning that the health risks in getting too close to dog, allowing it to lick children’s hands, utensils…etc is not to be overlooked, especially as this has been affirmed by many experts. I’d like you to read the following:
‘Some lovers of the West in Muslim countries claim to be full of love and compassion for all living creatures and they wonder why Islam warns against this "best friend" of man. For their benefit, we quote here a lengthy excerpt from an article by the German scientist, Dr. Gerard Finstimer, (translated from the German magazine: Kosinos) in which the author sheds light on the dangers to human health, resulting from keeping dogs or coming in contact with them. He says:
‘The increasing interest shown by many people in recent times in keeping dogs as pets has compelled us to draw public attention to the dangers, which result from this, especially because pet dogs are hugged and kissed and permitted to lick the hands of the young and the old, and what is worse, to lick the plates and utensils, which are used by human beings for eating and drinking.
Besides being unhygienic and uncouth, this practice is bad manners and abhorrent to good taste. However, we are not concerned with such matters, leaving them to be addressed by teachers of etiquette and good taste. Rather this article is intended to present some scientific observations.
From the medical point of view, which is our main concern here, the hazards to human health and life from keeping and playing with dogs are not to be ignored. Many people have paid a high price for their ignorance, as the tapeworm carried by dogs is a cause of chronic disease, sometimes resulting in death.
This worm is found in man, in cattle, and in pigs. But it is found in fully developed form only in dogs, wolves and rarely in cats. These worms differ from others in that they are minute and invisible, consequently, they were not discovered until very recently.’
So, dear sister, in light of all these facts, I want to sum it up. You don’t need to worried about keeping your dog (within the necessities sanctioned by Islam, i.e. for protection or taken as watch dog) as long as you know the rights you owe it and as long as you know that your love for your dog must not affect your religious duties. I want to emphasise here that all that you have heard or what is cited above does not indicate that dogs are rendered an impure animal. But my advice to you is not to get too much in contact with it, keeping in mind all the above-mentioned problems.
To let you know, not all scholars regard dogs as impure. For instance, the Malikite Jurists maintain that the dog is pure, even its saliva, and this is the predominant opinion. So, it is not obligatory to wash the body or the clothes, but one must still wash a bowl that touched or licked by dog. The Hanafite Juristic School and some of Hanbali Jurists say that it’s only dog’s saliva that’s filthy and impure, but its body is not. Imam Ibn Taymiyyah considers this view to be the most correct. Thus, if a person’s clothes get wet from touching the dog's fur, this doesn't render them impure. Also, if one touches the dog's fur after making ablution (wudu'), this does not nullify the ablution, but if one gets touched with dog's saliva, then one has got tainted with impurity, and it must be removed.
What this implies, is that apart from going into extreme in human’s relation with animals in general, dogs in particular, there is nothing wrong in Islam with one’s getting in contact with animals as long as caution is demonstrated. There is nothing wrong in reading the Qur’an while you have your dog at home; what you heard concerning this is baseless. Islam does not go against keeping a dog for the reasons mentioned above.
Well sister I hope this better clarifies the issue in question.
source: http://www.islamonline.net/askaboutislam/d...questionID=3039
I have a few questions about keeping pets in Islam. I have read on the Internet that the keeping of a dog is haraam unless the dog is being used for hunting or farming, while any other animal (reasonably) may be kept as a pet as long as it’s cared for.
Using a dog for the sake of protection or pure enjoyment is considered haraam? The source from which I received this information also stated that dogs are vile and contaminated, and there are certain procedures a Muslim must partake in to wash themselves after coming in contact with a dog, wet dog, and/or its saliva. I would like to know if this is true.
If this is factual, how should new converts of Islam (that love her/his dog as if it were a family member) confront this problem?
Also, it was stated that the Qur’an should not be read when there is a dog in the house. I have been reading the translated version of the Qur’an all this time (I’m almost halfway done), not knowing that what I have been doing may be very wrong! However, since the book is not handwritten and is translated, is this situation not even considered? Have I committed extremely unacceptable offenses due to my ignorance?
Please ease my confusion.
Thank you.
************************************************************
Dear sister,
First of all, I’d like to apologize for this late reply. In fact, your question is very interesting and I really appreciate your posing it, for it will help a lot in dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s concerning this issue. Thus addressing many misconceptions that have filled some minds.
To start with, I find it very important to make it clear that while setting rules and codes to govern human affairs, a divine religion like Islam must never let those rules be detached from the realities of life. As Allah says in the Qur’an:
... God intends every facility for you; He does not want to put to difficulties. ...
Surah 2 Verse 185
This means that the rules and teachings must not pose a difficulty for its followers. Thus, it’s normal to assume that certain benefits, apparent or hidden, are inherent in shari’a injunctions. Of course, this is apart from the sense of worship that compliance with them implies.
The issue of dogs is one of the most debatable issues in recent times, especially as da’wah gains ground in the West, whereby people enter into Islam in large numbers. Thus, the questions on the lips of many reverts is: ‘can I keep my dog while still abiding by my religious obligations? Will my new religion take away from me my dog, which has become my closest friend?’
What makes this issue so debated is the fact that there are many Prophetic hadiths that warn Muslims about getting into contact with dogs. In fact, some of these hadiths give warnings that going against this rule takes away a sizeable amount of reward from a person’s record (of good deeds) daily. Adding to that is the Prophet’s order for killing the dogs in Medina and the Angel Gabriel’s refusal to enter the Prophet’s house in one of his visits, citing the presence of dog as reason.
But alongside with this, are many hadiths that call for showing kindness to animals in general, including dogs, and the permissibility of keeping dogs for hunting, guarding, etc. It’s further reported that some of the Prophet’s companions, may Allah be pleased with them all, were in the habit of keeping animals for farming purposes or even for fun and pleasure.
So to clarify this confusion, we need to interpret those hadiths in the light of the Qur’an. The Qur'an makes it clear that there is no harm in eating animals grabbed by hunting dogs. Furthermore, it’s through the Qur'an that we get acquainted with the story of the Cave Companions (ahl-ul-khaf) who had with them their dog; this clearly shows that dogs have historically been used for guarding the person and the property of its owners.
This also indicates that dogs must be treated well they are of the animals referred to in the verse:
There is not an animal (that lives) on the earth, nor a being that flies on its wings, but (forms part of) communities like you.
Surah 6 Verse 38
The implicit message of this verse is that in Islam, the concept of mercy covers humans as well as animals, for Islam accords animals inviolable rights, part of which is to be fed well and not to be subject to torture or ill-treatment. Hence, I recall here the hadith in which the Prophet (pbuh), stated that a woman was doomed to enter Hell because of a cat...
‘which she neither fed nor let it eat from the vermin of the earth.’
This hadith makes it clear that Islam does not go against keeping animals, including watch or hunting dogs, as long as one does not neglect them. In fact, the Prophet (pbuh) states that showing kindness to animals is a means of earning reward:
‘In every living being there is reward.’
Adding to this is the hadith in which the Prophet (pbuh) told his companions a story concerning a man who found a dog in the desert panting and licking the dust due to thirst. The man went to a well, filled his shoes with water, and relieved the dog's thirst. Said the messenger of Allah (pbuh):
‘Allah appreciated this and forgave him all his sins.’ (Reported by al-Bukhari)
Having said this, we have to ask: ‘How is it that the religion that is rich in all these fine precepts about animal rights, is the same religion that warns its followers about getting into contact with dogs and even emphasizes that the utensils licked by dogs should be washed 7 times, one of them with earth?’
The answer is very simple. The basic rule in Islam is the permissibility of keeping dogs for hunting and guarding. Still, the exception to the rule is: excessiveness must be avoided as much as possible. The care and concern for human beings should take higher priority over the care of animals, and the reward for that is greater.
We will be able to understand this fact, when we notice that some people do pay a great deal of attention to their cats and dogs, at the expense of other things. It is better for Muslims to make the best use of their time in that which is beneficial and good. Some people spend more money on their cats and dogs, than they spend on their own sons and daughters! Then, let alone the poor and needy. They may even bring their pets to stay in luxurious hotels and bequeath large amounts of money to them.
You see, sister, going to extremes in showering dogs with love, concern and kindness, is what shari’a goes against, because there should be no collision between human rights and animal rights. Thus, in observing how lavishly the well-off treat their dogs while despising their relatives, and how much attention they give their dogs while neglecting their neighbors, one realizes the wisdom of the cautious approach the shari’a has towards this issue.
It’s also due to the danger that the dogs posed at a certain time during the lifetime of the Prophet (pbuh), that he ordered for the killing of the dogs, but he later rescinded this order. As we know, stray dogs pose as a nuisance and health hazard. They tend to defecate indiscriminately in the open, thereby posing a danger for children and pedestrians.
It’s also worth mentioning that the health risks in getting too close to dog, allowing it to lick children’s hands, utensils…etc is not to be overlooked, especially as this has been affirmed by many experts. I’d like you to read the following:
‘Some lovers of the West in Muslim countries claim to be full of love and compassion for all living creatures and they wonder why Islam warns against this "best friend" of man. For their benefit, we quote here a lengthy excerpt from an article by the German scientist, Dr. Gerard Finstimer, (translated from the German magazine: Kosinos) in which the author sheds light on the dangers to human health, resulting from keeping dogs or coming in contact with them. He says:
‘The increasing interest shown by many people in recent times in keeping dogs as pets has compelled us to draw public attention to the dangers, which result from this, especially because pet dogs are hugged and kissed and permitted to lick the hands of the young and the old, and what is worse, to lick the plates and utensils, which are used by human beings for eating and drinking.
Besides being unhygienic and uncouth, this practice is bad manners and abhorrent to good taste. However, we are not concerned with such matters, leaving them to be addressed by teachers of etiquette and good taste. Rather this article is intended to present some scientific observations.
From the medical point of view, which is our main concern here, the hazards to human health and life from keeping and playing with dogs are not to be ignored. Many people have paid a high price for their ignorance, as the tapeworm carried by dogs is a cause of chronic disease, sometimes resulting in death.
This worm is found in man, in cattle, and in pigs. But it is found in fully developed form only in dogs, wolves and rarely in cats. These worms differ from others in that they are minute and invisible, consequently, they were not discovered until very recently.’
So, dear sister, in light of all these facts, I want to sum it up. You don’t need to worried about keeping your dog (within the necessities sanctioned by Islam, i.e. for protection or taken as watch dog) as long as you know the rights you owe it and as long as you know that your love for your dog must not affect your religious duties. I want to emphasise here that all that you have heard or what is cited above does not indicate that dogs are rendered an impure animal. But my advice to you is not to get too much in contact with it, keeping in mind all the above-mentioned problems.
To let you know, not all scholars regard dogs as impure. For instance, the Malikite Jurists maintain that the dog is pure, even its saliva, and this is the predominant opinion. So, it is not obligatory to wash the body or the clothes, but one must still wash a bowl that touched or licked by dog. The Hanafite Juristic School and some of Hanbali Jurists say that it’s only dog’s saliva that’s filthy and impure, but its body is not. Imam Ibn Taymiyyah considers this view to be the most correct. Thus, if a person’s clothes get wet from touching the dog's fur, this doesn't render them impure. Also, if one touches the dog's fur after making ablution (wudu'), this does not nullify the ablution, but if one gets touched with dog's saliva, then one has got tainted with impurity, and it must be removed.
What this implies, is that apart from going into extreme in human’s relation with animals in general, dogs in particular, there is nothing wrong in Islam with one’s getting in contact with animals as long as caution is demonstrated. There is nothing wrong in reading the Qur’an while you have your dog at home; what you heard concerning this is baseless. Islam does not go against keeping a dog for the reasons mentioned above.
Well sister I hope this better clarifies the issue in question.
source: http://www.islamonline.net/askaboutislam/d...questionID=3039
#10
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Posted 23 January 2004 - 05:55 PM
Dear Josiahrayne,
The reasons why relationships outside marriage are regarded as a sin is simple.
In the Quran Allah has ordered us to refrain from this, we as muslims must guard our modesty as this is part of faith.
Of course in repelling the satan and his many temptations we must be strong, but perhaps the hardest of all is fighting our own Nafs (desires).
Below I will paste a Fatwa (Islamic ruling um the subject of even just a freindship with the opposite sex!) it is quite straightforward but if there any terms or words you do not understand then please just ask!!
Question :
I know keeping girlfriend will destroy the family and so on but what if we were just friends secretly were no one knew. this way we will we will stay togethr until marraige and we can garentee we wont perform any zinna. are there any cases in the old times of love .
Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Taking a girlfriend does not only destroy the family, it destroys society, and those who do this are threatened with the punishment and wrath of Allaah. Love is a sickness that destroys the heart and leads to evil and immorality. The Shaytaan will keep tempting them and pushing them until they commit immoral actions and thus each gets what he or she wants from the other.
There are many forbidden matters associated with this, such as transgressing against the honour of others, betraying trust, being alone with a member of the opposite sex, touching, kissing, speaking immoral words, then the greater evil which occurs at the end, which is the sin of zina.
The fact that the questioner says “no one knows about us” is strange. How can he forget about his Lord Who knows what is secret and what is yet more hidden, and who knows the fraud of the eyes and all that the hearts conceal. (cf. Ghaafir 40:19).
Our advice to you, as you are still young, is to discipline yourself to obey Allaah and always remember that He is watching; fear Allaah concerning people’s honour; strive for the Day when you will meet your Lord with your deeds; remember the scandal that may happen in this world and the Hereafter. Remember that you have sisters and will have a wife and daughters, so would you like for one of them what you are doing with the daughters of the Muslims? The answer is that you would certainly not like it, and other people do not like it either. Remember that you may see the results of your sin in some of your family members as a punishment to you from your Lord.
You have to look for righteous friends, and you have to keep yourself busy doing that which Allaah loves and is pleased with. Pay attention to the best and most sublime things and leave alone the worst and most vile things. Make the most of your youth in obeying and worshipping Allaah, seeking knowledge and calling others to Allaah. Remember that there were those of your age and younger who were men who had memorized the Qur’aan, who sought knowledge, whom the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent to call others to Allaah and to enter the religion of Islam.
We advise you to get married to a righteous, religiously-committed woman who will help you adhere to your religion and encourage you to adhere to the laws of Allaah, who will look after your children and bring them up with good morals and religious commitment. Give up this woman who agrees to go out with a man who is a stranger to her (a non-mahram) and meet him and talk to him; if she agrees to do immoral actions now then what is going to prevent her from continuing to do so in the future?
Remember that you are angering your Lord with such sins as being alone with her, meeting her and talking to her, and anything more than that is even more serious.
You should realize that zina does not only involve the private parts, rather the eyes may commit zina, the ears may commit zina, the hand may commit zina and the foot may commit zina, as was proven from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). All of that leads to the zina of the private parts. So do not let the Shaytaan deceive you, for he is an enemy to you who wishes you evil and tells you to commit immoral actions.
Shaykh Muhammad al-Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen said:
Contact between lovers in improper and unlawful ways is a calamity and a real disaster. It is not permissible for the man to contact the woman in this case, or for the woman to contact the man. If he says that he wants to marry her, then he must tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them).
But if the woman contacts the man directly, this is the source of fitnah (temptation).
As’ilat al-Baab il-Maftooh (Question no. 868).
Secondly:
With regard to your question about such forbidden relationships in the ancient love stories, the fact that such stories existed among those who came before us cannot be taken as proof with regard to shar’i rulings, because the rulings of sharee’ah having to do with what is forbidden and what is allowed are to be taken from the shar’i evidence of the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and the commands and prohibitions contained therein.
Some of those mentioned in these stories came before Islam, such as ‘Antarah and others, and such stories are to be found in other cultures as is well known. But we cannot take shar’i rulings from this because Islam came to bring people forth from being controlled by their desires to complete submission to Allaah the Lord of the Worlds.
We ask Allaah to guide us and you and to give us strength.
Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)
The reasons why relationships outside marriage are regarded as a sin is simple.
In the Quran Allah has ordered us to refrain from this, we as muslims must guard our modesty as this is part of faith.
Of course in repelling the satan and his many temptations we must be strong, but perhaps the hardest of all is fighting our own Nafs (desires).
Below I will paste a Fatwa (Islamic ruling um the subject of even just a freindship with the opposite sex!) it is quite straightforward but if there any terms or words you do not understand then please just ask!!
Question :
I know keeping girlfriend will destroy the family and so on but what if we were just friends secretly were no one knew. this way we will we will stay togethr until marraige and we can garentee we wont perform any zinna. are there any cases in the old times of love .
Answer :
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Taking a girlfriend does not only destroy the family, it destroys society, and those who do this are threatened with the punishment and wrath of Allaah. Love is a sickness that destroys the heart and leads to evil and immorality. The Shaytaan will keep tempting them and pushing them until they commit immoral actions and thus each gets what he or she wants from the other.
There are many forbidden matters associated with this, such as transgressing against the honour of others, betraying trust, being alone with a member of the opposite sex, touching, kissing, speaking immoral words, then the greater evil which occurs at the end, which is the sin of zina.
The fact that the questioner says “no one knows about us” is strange. How can he forget about his Lord Who knows what is secret and what is yet more hidden, and who knows the fraud of the eyes and all that the hearts conceal. (cf. Ghaafir 40:19).
Our advice to you, as you are still young, is to discipline yourself to obey Allaah and always remember that He is watching; fear Allaah concerning people’s honour; strive for the Day when you will meet your Lord with your deeds; remember the scandal that may happen in this world and the Hereafter. Remember that you have sisters and will have a wife and daughters, so would you like for one of them what you are doing with the daughters of the Muslims? The answer is that you would certainly not like it, and other people do not like it either. Remember that you may see the results of your sin in some of your family members as a punishment to you from your Lord.
You have to look for righteous friends, and you have to keep yourself busy doing that which Allaah loves and is pleased with. Pay attention to the best and most sublime things and leave alone the worst and most vile things. Make the most of your youth in obeying and worshipping Allaah, seeking knowledge and calling others to Allaah. Remember that there were those of your age and younger who were men who had memorized the Qur’aan, who sought knowledge, whom the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent to call others to Allaah and to enter the religion of Islam.
We advise you to get married to a righteous, religiously-committed woman who will help you adhere to your religion and encourage you to adhere to the laws of Allaah, who will look after your children and bring them up with good morals and religious commitment. Give up this woman who agrees to go out with a man who is a stranger to her (a non-mahram) and meet him and talk to him; if she agrees to do immoral actions now then what is going to prevent her from continuing to do so in the future?
Remember that you are angering your Lord with such sins as being alone with her, meeting her and talking to her, and anything more than that is even more serious.
You should realize that zina does not only involve the private parts, rather the eyes may commit zina, the ears may commit zina, the hand may commit zina and the foot may commit zina, as was proven from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). All of that leads to the zina of the private parts. So do not let the Shaytaan deceive you, for he is an enemy to you who wishes you evil and tells you to commit immoral actions.
Shaykh Muhammad al-Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen said:
Contact between lovers in improper and unlawful ways is a calamity and a real disaster. It is not permissible for the man to contact the woman in this case, or for the woman to contact the man. If he says that he wants to marry her, then he must tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them).
But if the woman contacts the man directly, this is the source of fitnah (temptation).
As’ilat al-Baab il-Maftooh (Question no. 868).
Secondly:
With regard to your question about such forbidden relationships in the ancient love stories, the fact that such stories existed among those who came before us cannot be taken as proof with regard to shar’i rulings, because the rulings of sharee’ah having to do with what is forbidden and what is allowed are to be taken from the shar’i evidence of the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and the commands and prohibitions contained therein.
Some of those mentioned in these stories came before Islam, such as ‘Antarah and others, and such stories are to be found in other cultures as is well known. But we cannot take shar’i rulings from this because Islam came to bring people forth from being controlled by their desires to complete submission to Allaah the Lord of the Worlds.
We ask Allaah to guide us and you and to give us strength.
Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)
#11
Posted 23 January 2004 - 08:50 PM
QUOTE(sarah_anisah)
...Love is a sickness that destroys the heart and leads to evil and immorality...
Asalaamu Alaikum
I'm sorry... I know that the above statement is considered to be fatwa, but doesn't it contradict the following hadith?
Sahih Bukhari
Volume 3, Book 48, Number 829:
Narrated Aisha:
…Allah's Apostle also asked Zainab bint Jahsh (i.e. the Prophet's wife about me saying, 'What do you know and what did you see?' She replied, 'O Allah's Apostle! I refrain to claim hearing or seeing what I have not heard or seen. By Allah, I know nothing except goodness about Aisha." Aisha further added "Zainab was competing with me (in her beauty and the Prophet's LOVE), yet Allah protected her (from being malicious), for she had piety."
Volume 6, Book 60, Number 435:
Narrated Ibn Abbas:
. . . O my daughter! Don't be betrayed by the one who is proud of her beauty because of the LOVE of Allah's Apostle for her (i.e. 'Aisha)."
Sahih Muslim
Book 031, Number 5972:
'A'isha reported: Never did I feel jealous of the wives of Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) but in case of Khadija, although I did no, (have the privilege to) see her. She further added that whenever Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) slaughtered a sheep, he said: Send it to the companions of Khadija I annoyed him one day and said: (It is) Khadija only who always prevails upon your mind. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Her LOVE had been nurtured in my heart by Allah Himself.
Salaam,
~Noor
#12
sarah_anisah
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Posted 23 January 2004 - 10:14 PM
Assalamu Alaikum
I see it as meaning in the Fatwa "the western concept" of love, ie; romantic hearts and flowers love as oppose to "love for the sake of Allah" which is the way we are adviced to love one another!!
In the fatwa it is written in the first paragraph which is actually discussing a haram (forbidden) act of boyfriend/girlfriend relationship!!
Allah Hafiz
Sarah
I see it as meaning in the Fatwa "the western concept" of love, ie; romantic hearts and flowers love as oppose to "love for the sake of Allah" which is the way we are adviced to love one another!!
In the fatwa it is written in the first paragraph which is actually discussing a haram (forbidden) act of boyfriend/girlfriend relationship!!
QUOTE
Taking a girlfriend does not only destroy the family, it destroys society, and those who do this are threatened with the punishment and wrath of Allaah. Love is a sickness that destroys the heart and leads to evil and immorality. The Shaytaan will keep tempting them and pushing them until they commit immoral actions and thus each gets what he or she wants from the other.
Allah Hafiz
Sarah
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