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Some of you might remember me and some probably wont, but I will give a small recap of what happened almost 10 years ago and what happened this week.
When I was around 16 years old I visited family friends in Belgium with my family. Our families were very close, we used to visit each other very often and sometimes even spend holidays together. The family is very well known in the Muslim community in Brussels, because the father of the family is a 'famous' imam in the city. Long story short I went to bed upstairs and he came into the room and wanted me to kiss him on the cheek instead of the usual kiss on the hand, which all of his kids did (even though he wasn't a mahram obviously). I did kiss him on his cheek and he demanded more, so I stopped and thought to myself this is not the situation I want to be in. He noticed I was hesitant and went to his own room, which was next to his daughters' room, the room I was in. I went back in bed and he called my name. The first time I didn't reply. The second time I also didn't reply, but the third time I got up to see what he wanted. I thought that I might have misunderstood and I didn't want to be disrespectful. I was wrong. He was laying in his bed wearing white boxers and an undershirt and called me into his bed. I respectfully declined by saying: no 3ammi (uncle). This wasn't a young man with dreamy chocolate eyes which I had some kind of connection with. This was an imam, and old imam. He has lived for well over 70 years now and he got it in his head that a 16 year old girl, who was visiting his family, would want to sleep with him. He was wrong. It hurt me so much, mentally, to have that feeling of trust shattered. I grew up without my father and not to trying to cliché, but he was kind of the father figure for my siblings and I. Even though the level of respect he demanded was high. At the time I did not tell anyone, but eventually told my mother and sister.
This week I couldn't sleep and it was already three in the morning. I kept thinking about what happened and I did so numerous times before, but I finally built up the courage needed for me to inform his daughter. It took me ten years and it might seem trivial to some, but that was a very traumatic period for me as a teen. I wanted to inform his daughter for years now, especially her out of his four daughters because I felt like we had a good bond. I thought that she could try to keep an eye on the kids that visit their house, including her nieces and perhaps even nephews. So I sent her a message and I finally felt cleansed and relaxed. I felt like it is my duty as a muslim to inform her, because there might be more kids out there who have been scarred by him and don't dare to speak out and so that something can be done to protect the kids. So alhamdulilah.
She replied at fajr:
Salam, what can I tell you? I'm shocked! But I can tell you that he is not like you think and if he was like that I know he changed and that he is a good Muslim. That was over 10 years ago, so just forget it. I know it's hard, but just do it and keep this story between us. People change.
Please forgive him, because I'm sure that he regrets what he did if it's true.
Now my father is the best Muslim in the world. This is the first time I hear something like that about him! What can I do? It hurts me, but I know he is a good Muslim man now. I never want to hear this story again. Sorry but just try to understand me. It's better for us all to forget.
I'm sorry.
I did not reply
Edited by Simple, 16 December 2015 - 10:12 PM.
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